Did you ever get news so unexpected that it feels like someone told you about a death in the family?

That's the kind of news I got last night. It disturbed me to a point that I couldn't concentrate on pleasant diversions like American Idol and Project Runway. I really felt for Richie, because he knew what kind of funk it put me in, and I was certainly no fun to be around last night. It upset me so badly that I woke up at 3:30 this morning with a migraine.

I don't understand the people in my church. I love them, each and every one of them. But sometimes they do the most ridiculous things. Aren't Christians supposed to open their arms and hearts up to people in our church? Why, when someone comes in, do they strive to tear them down, oppose everything they try to do in our church? Especially someone with such an obvious love for God, someone who wants to worship God with all their heart, soul, and mind and life. It makes me glad that my faith is in God, and not in other Christians, because I'm beginning to wonder how many Christians we actually have in our church.

One of the stages of grieving is anger. And boy, I'm so angry I could spit.

Disappointment rears its ugly head.

I really should have seen it coming. I mean, it was going too well, and I was just way too excited about the spring musical.

One of my girls told me that she didn't want a speaking part, and she didn't want to sing a solo, either. And neither did her brother. It broke my heart, because I was so sure she wanted to be a part of it. She seemed so excited at rehearsal on Wednesday, and she was always one I could count on to sing and participate during Christmas play rehearsals. Her brother, well, I halfway expected it, because typically, boys just aren't that interested in plays. I don't know what happened. Did someone say something to her at school, making fun of her for being in a church play? I wish kids knew--the way adults know--that kids say cruel things because they're jealous or insecure.

I was really despondent throughout the entire Sunday night service, blaming myself for getting too excited about the play, thinking maybe I assigned roles too early, accusing myself of choosing a play that was too difficult for the kids to learn.

But as soon as service was over, two little rays of sunshine peeked through. Another of my students wanted to talk to me about her part, and I had the opportunity to tell her why she had gotten such a big part. Once I was able to talk to her about her part, we both felt better, and at least she was back on track. But then, my boy student that had wanted to quit earlier rushed up to me and informed me that he needed another script, because he had lost his. I talked to him, and he confirmed to me twice that yes, he really did want his part. So it turns out that I only have a little bit of shuffling to do.

I keep learning, play by play, and week by week. I'm thinking of holding auditions for the Christmas play, a few weeks after they've had a chance to listen to it. That way, the kids that really want parts will get them.

In other news, no headaches. Plus, it's almost a relief to have the writer's strike still on, because I would be watching way too much television if Heroes, Ugly Betty, and The Office were still on, especially now that Project Runway is in full swing, and American Idol will be premiering in two days. One thing I've learned--there is such a thing as too much television.

Bounce! It's what Tiggers do best.

I woke up this morning with an unusual amount of energy. Strange, because I had absolutely none yesterday. In the amount of time it usually takes me to get ready in the mornings, I was able to get ready, do last night's dishes, PLUS burn two CDs for the Spring Musical. Righteous! I just don't know why I'm so bouncy this morning, but I'll take it! I hope this is a trend that continues.

Speaking of the Spring Musical, practice starts tonight. Naturally, I am pumped. I've been listening and making lessons plans since December 26, so I'm excited to see how the kids will respond to the music. It's not your mother's church musical. It's kinda rockin'. I've also decided to take a new approach to teaching the class. If it works out, I'll fill you all in on what happened. Well, even if it doesn't work out.

Let's see...what else is going on today? Oh! I know! Cathryn is testing for voice lessons Tuesday the 15th! The teacher told me that she was kind of on the young side, but if she tests well, she'll take Cathryn on as a student. Naturally, Cathryn is all kinds of excited about her "audition". We started practicing scales last night. This morning we began working on matching pitch to my voice, and on Thursday, we'll begin matching pitch to the piano.

I'm having a bad hair day. It started off looking so cute and wavy, and now it's bushy and I've had to pull it in a clip. *sigh* One day, my hair will shine like the sea.

But I want to end on a happy note, so I will conclude by saying that I haven't had a headache in two days! I'm being stupid about this, though--I'm carrying my medicine in my purse.

Toodles!

Headache research

So far, the candidates are:

--Migraine headaches (Which is what I've always suspected. I even used to take a nightly migraine medication, but stopped for my own reasons.) The experts over at WebMD say that there is no known cause of migraines, except for something to do with blood vessels. HA! Take that, People Who Say I Should Drink Decaf! One eight ounce cup a day is not going to give me a migraine. However, the article also says that it can be brought on by the following triggers: chocolate, red wine, cheese, MSG, strong odors, not eating, and poor sleep habits. Well, I see two of mine right there--chocolate and not eating properly. I think I'll start to monitor this.

--Needing glasses. (This is Richie's conclusion, because I've always read so much, in any kind of light. He thinks I may be straining my eyes, and that's what's giving me these headaches.)

My conclusion? Maybe a little a both. I'll need to make an appointment with an optometrist.

A Snap Decision and Why I Love WebMD

I've decided that I need to put pictures up here on my blog. Y'all have got to be bored with my words, words, words, and then have nothing but my little cartoon of myself to look at. I know that I certainly am! Cathryn got a digital camera for Christmas. I may start to employ it.

Second, I need to admit that I'm kind of addicted to WebMD. It's the hypochondriac in me, I know. But I start researching symptoms, and then I just can't stop. Today's topic: headaches. I'll keep you all posted.

For breakfast: 16ounces of water and 8 ounces of strawberry yogurt. I'm fighting hunger by continuing to drink water.

The Great Blog Post-Dump of 2008

Much like people begin to purge their homes once the new year begins, I am going to purge my brain by dumping a lot of stuff right here in this post. You should expect me to talk about these again at some point in the future.

--Find a cure for my headaches. Don't tell me to cut out caffeine. I only have one 8oz cup of coffee in the morning. Someone actually said to me that they saw a news segment of how "regular" coffee has the same amount of caffeine as "decaf", and that I should just start drinking decaf. My response? "Why don't you just start drinking regular?"

--Live Healthier. Richie's been asking me to go walking with him when he walks the dog. I decided tonight to go. I realize that this is probably going to be the toughest thing I do all year. I have a heavy addiction to chocolate, and have been known to forgo dinner for dessert. I'm not talking about a diet here. Richie and I were talking today, and diets just don't work. If this is something I'm going to work at accomplishing, this is going to have to be a lifestyle change. Yes, I know this means giving up french fries.

--Good mommy vs. Bad mommy. Richie, Trey and Cathryn always say I'm the former. Me, in my infinite pessimism, give myself a vote in the latter.

--Become a better choir director. I want these kids to learn to worship through song and drama, and to lead others through the same. I want to put on a rocking spring musical, and another one at Christmas. I want to expose these kids to all kinds of music, and teach them to appreciate it.

--The Sims. Does anyone else play this game? It's the perfect game for control freaks who find themselves without people to control. It's also good for those folks who always thought it would be cool to be an architect, like Mike Brady but less square, but never could quite get the math. I fall into both categories.

--American Idol, or my struggle with obsession. I'm really struggling with blogging American Idol this season for two reasons: my involvement with the children's choir, and the general knowledge that American Idol just doesn't play fair just for the sake of "good" television.

--Blog more. About stuff that matters, not just my usual television-driven obsession-fueled rants.

I'm sure there's more, but I can't think of them right now.