I am suffering today. Actually, I've been struggling since Wednesday night. Seriously struggling with food issues. When the kids were eating pizza and I hadn't had anything since a shake at four that afternoon, I could literally taste the cheesy goodness in my mouth. When I woke up this morning, all I could think about was a slice of cinnamon toast. As the morning has progressed, I've found myself wanting a sausage biscuit with gravy, Doritos, orange juice, and a Coke. All before 9 this morning.

I had an Amaretto Cappuccino supplement instead, and kept telling myself that there are two size ten dresses in my closet that can't quite zip up all the way.

One more week until my last weigh-in where I will reward myself with chicken fingers and onion rings for a job well done!

Toodles!

The Weight Update AND What I Did This Weekend

04/27/2008; 171 pounds; 7.5 pounds in two weeks; total loss of 37 pounds.

For some reason, I feel like I look thinner in the last picture. Oh, well, the number's don't lie. I was convinced that it was only going to be like four pounds this weigh-in, but lo-and-behold when I stepped on that scale, and the nurse told me 7.5 pounds...well, I immediately had to stick my head out of the door and shout it to Richie, and the whole room! That's a whole pound and a half more than that my usual two-week losses.

Richie went with me this time, and we decided to eat at North Towne Grill, across from Northwoods Mall because I had to exchange some shoes of Cathryn's that didn't fit. Since the restaurant didn't open until 11 or 12, we decided to kill some time in the mall after I exchanged the shoes. Richie had a Strawberry Julius and we both got Doozies from the Great American Cookie Company in the food court. A Doozie is basically two cookies with cake icing in the middle, but really, it's like holding diabetes in your hand. Richie had a normal-sized double chocolate, but mine was chocolate chip, and it was so sweet I could barely finish it! That's really saying something for the girl who could finish off a whole box of Swiss Cake Rolls in one sitting if she was upset about something.

After that, we decided to go to Books-A-Million. Now, this is not my favorite bookstore--that honor goes to Barnes & Noble--but we really didn't want to drive down Rivers Avenue any more than was required. Actually, the Books-A-Million in Northwoods Mall isn't that bad. I normally find them very messy and unorganized, but this one was very neat and clean. Richie looked around with me for a little while, but then we got separated when we got to the music section, and he wandered off to the fishing magazines. He sat calmly and read, never once complaining that I went up and down each aisle, looking, touching, smelling each book that caught my eye. I decided on the new Dorothea Benton Frank novel, Bulls Island, and of course I had to have the new issue of InStyle.

North Towne Grill has got to be one of the best restaurants ever. The cuisine is Greek, and Richie and I like to eat there each time we're on that side of Charleston. It's the same with each restaurant we visit--Richie has his favorite things on the menu, and will select from that, while I will peruse the menu two or three times, because I like to try something new each time. Richie chooses his very favorite dish from the restaurant, the North Towne Chicken, which is slow-roasted chicken with a side of steamed vegetables and Greek potatoes. I've had it, and it is beyond delicious. I decided on something called Souvlaki, which is grilled pork tenderloin chopped up with tomatoes and onions, and wrapped in pita bread, with a side of the Greek Potatoes. It was beyond delicious.

I will say that Saturday, eating-wise, was very out of the norm for me. I can't tell you the last time I ate potatoes or bread, let alone a cookie with cake icing. But I felt like I had been doing so well that I needed to reward myself. And guess what? I couldn't even finish my lunch. We had to box it up and bring it home, where Richie enjoyed it Sunday night.

Cathryn went to Pirateland with Cathy and Richard this week, so after we got back from Charleston, I took advantage of her absence by cleaning her room, and completely reorganizing it so that she can walk in it and have friends over. More about that tomorrow.

Toodles!

The Weight Update

03/16/2008; 190.5 lbs. Six more pounds! (p.s.--Look at my kicky new haircut!)

Yeah, not as much as two weeks ago, but hey--that's 16.5 pounds in a month. I've lost four inches in my waist and hips. I've gone down a dress size, and I can wear medium tops. The most exciting news? Two weeks ago I had to try on pants in the Women's Plus department. This past Saturday? I bought pants in the regular Women's department. No, I'm never going to be able to shop in the Junior's department, but I'm 30 now--there's no need. Pretty soon, Cathryn will be in the Junior's department, and do I really want to dress like my daughter? I believe that you can look modern, chic and age-appropriate. But, I'm not going to get into that rant, at least not today.

Want to hear more good news? The nurse was able to draw blood on the first try. I was so ecstatic that I had to call Richie right then and there while the nurse was putting some information into the computer across the hall. I still have a bit of a bruise, but it was worth it, and now I don't have to worry about it for another six months.

Even though Richie has been telling me for three weeks that he can see the changes, I'm only just now getting to a place where I can look in the mirror and see a difference. Sure, I've certainly been feeling better since I started the program, and knock on wood, I haven't had a headache in a month. That's exciting stuff. And now that I'm fitting into smaller sizes, I can really appreciate the fruits of my labor.

None of this would have been possible without Richie backing me up. He has been so supportive of me doing this program, even though he told me before I started that I was beautiful just the way I was. He's never once tried to tempt me, and he's my biggest cheerleader, telling me everyday how great I'm doing. He's also very creative at coming up with new recipes so that our family can eat together, and I don't get bored with grilled chicken breasts and salads. (Although I confess, I am still pretty bored with salad, and actually welcomed brussel sprouts into my life.) I'm so grateful that he doesn't try to tempt me, and the sweetest thing we have in our house right now is peanut butter, even though I know how much he and Cathryn love chocolate. He just keeps telling me that he wants me to be happy.

Richie, Trey and Cathryn make me very happy. And you know what? I'm starting to feel that way about myself, now, too.

Being Healthy

02/17/08; 30 years old; 5 feet 8 inches; 207 pounds.
I'm very much not proud of this picture.

It's hard for me to look at this picture, and it has very little to do with the fact that I'm wearing horizontal stripes. I don't always like what I see when I look in the mirror, but I definitely don't see this. It's really sad, too, because I was so happy this morning when I was trying on a few things. I bought a dress yesterday that I was supposed to be working to get in for Easter, and when I tried it on, it fit. I was ecstatic.

But, that picture is the reason I went to the Metabolic Medical Center in Mt. Pleasant. It's a real doctor's office. I had to fill out all kinds of medical paperwork, like family medical history, eating habits (that one was difficult...), and my own medical history. They weighed me, measured me, made me do a Body Mass Indicator test, counseled me about my choices and then talked to me about possible plans to follow. (Y'all know I love a plan and a schedule!) The one I chose has me drinking 2 supplements a day, having soup and salad for lunch, and then a nice dinner of lean protein and veggies. The only thing that bothers me is that I have to consume FOUR to SIX CUPS of veggies a day. That is going to be the real challenge with this program.

The worst part of my visit? When they attempted to draw blood. I don't like needles to begin with, but my veins are also almost completely non-existent, which makes it worse. They poked. They prodded. They made me rink two more bottles of water, and use stress balls so that I could make some veins appear. They used the tiny butterfly needles. But my veins said, "No, no, no!" and kept rolling and hiding from three (THREE!) different nurses. When I was in tears, at the end of my rope, they finally gave up and told me that they would try again when I came back for my checkup in two weeks. Really, though, everyone was super nice. It certainly wasn't the nurses' fault that my veins were playing hide and seek.

In two weeks, I'll post another picture. I won't be wearing horizontal stripes, that's for sure.

Obsession Tuesday

Y'all. I am just brimming with excitement for the first time since January 15. Hollywood Week starts tonight. I wonder who'll be the first to cry? I wonder who'll blow the competition away? I wonder who'll start and with promise and then fizzle? I'm bouncing in my seat just thinking about it! I'm telling y'all right now--I like Amanda Overmeyer (Biker Nurse) and I like David Cook (the rocker dude with the pinkish hair). Well, with that out of the way, let's get out our obsessions for the week, shall we?

Reading:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer comic #11. Richie and the kids ordered the subscription for Mother's Day 2007. It's the gift that keeps on giving, because I get a new one every month. It's called Season 8 because it's being run by Buffy creator Joss Whedon. Reading it is exactly like watching the television series. If you were a Buffy fan before, I highly recommend revisiting our Sunnydale friends.

Watching:

Across the Universe. Long story short? A movie musical set in the 1960s comprised entirely of Beatles music. Watching the movie, I went from breathless to giddy to tearful from one scene to the next. When Jim Sturgess (who plays "Jude") sings "Revolution" to Lucy (Evan Rachel Wood), I think I jumped up and cheered. Also? Freaking Bono has a part in this movie and he sings "I Am The Walrus" and "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds". I have to recommend this to my hardcore Beatles fans, because it can be a little...psychedelic and mind-bending in parts. Naturally, I now own the soundtrack so that I can introduce Cathryn to The Beatles, because I don't want her to have to wait until she's teenager to discover them the way I did. We should want better for our children.

Drinking:

Pomegranate juice. Pomegranate juice everything: tea, vitamin water, martinis...you name it. Have you had it yet? Not too sweet, not bitter, just fresh tasting. Yum, yum, yum.

Doing:

Organizing everything. Just last night, I was on the internet for three or four hours, looking at the different ways you can organize and decorate smalls bathrooms and oddly-shaped closets. *gasp* Could it be that maturity and adulthood have come upon me at last? Could I have been bitten by the grown-up bug?