Being Healthy

02/17/08; 30 years old; 5 feet 8 inches; 207 pounds.
I'm very much not proud of this picture.

It's hard for me to look at this picture, and it has very little to do with the fact that I'm wearing horizontal stripes. I don't always like what I see when I look in the mirror, but I definitely don't see this. It's really sad, too, because I was so happy this morning when I was trying on a few things. I bought a dress yesterday that I was supposed to be working to get in for Easter, and when I tried it on, it fit. I was ecstatic.

But, that picture is the reason I went to the Metabolic Medical Center in Mt. Pleasant. It's a real doctor's office. I had to fill out all kinds of medical paperwork, like family medical history, eating habits (that one was difficult...), and my own medical history. They weighed me, measured me, made me do a Body Mass Indicator test, counseled me about my choices and then talked to me about possible plans to follow. (Y'all know I love a plan and a schedule!) The one I chose has me drinking 2 supplements a day, having soup and salad for lunch, and then a nice dinner of lean protein and veggies. The only thing that bothers me is that I have to consume FOUR to SIX CUPS of veggies a day. That is going to be the real challenge with this program.

The worst part of my visit? When they attempted to draw blood. I don't like needles to begin with, but my veins are also almost completely non-existent, which makes it worse. They poked. They prodded. They made me rink two more bottles of water, and use stress balls so that I could make some veins appear. They used the tiny butterfly needles. But my veins said, "No, no, no!" and kept rolling and hiding from three (THREE!) different nurses. When I was in tears, at the end of my rope, they finally gave up and told me that they would try again when I came back for my checkup in two weeks. Really, though, everyone was super nice. It certainly wasn't the nurses' fault that my veins were playing hide and seek.

In two weeks, I'll post another picture. I won't be wearing horizontal stripes, that's for sure.

Obsession Wednesday

Reading: Wicked, by Gregory Maquire. It's the backstory of the Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz. It's fascinating, once you get past the strange language. It can get a little long in parts, but you're too afraid that if you skip a passage, you'll miss something important. It reminds me of watching Buffy--little things can mean a lot later on down the road. I've become so obsessed with the story that I had to purchase the sequel, Son of the Witch, plus I have acquired the Broadway musical soundtrack, as well as the book that goes along with the musical. If that's not obsession, I don't know what is!

Watching: Nothing. There is nothing on television right now that I have to watch. The writer's strike is driving me mad. The last Ugly Betty aired this past Thursday, and there hasn't been a new Heroes since December. how will I ever find out if Nathan Petrelli survived? Yeah, I know it's American Idol season. But I'm just not as into it. Maybe Season 6 has jaded me, but I'm finding these auditions just as boring as last season, if more humane. Maybe it's that I'm really enjoying the time Cathryn and I spend together at bedtime. I love reading her stories and talking about the day with her.

Doing: Reworking this blog! I really want it to reflect the real Josie. I'm still working on it, and I'm afraid that I'm still missing some links. If you see that the blog is missing something, tell me in the comments.

How appropriate.

I just got an email from my Sunday School class leader about the topic for this Sunday's lesson:

Our Sunday School lesson this week comes from Psalm 7 and is about injustice. Read this Psalm from several interpretations. One of the Biblical truths of this lesson is that we should place our trust in God to help us through difficult times, Another is that a day will come when God will make everything right. In the meantime, we are to examine our own hearts and make sure our lifestyles, habits, actions, and words honor the Lord Jesus Christ.

As I read it, I just couldn't but think to myself--how appropriate.

It amazes me, the way God works. He knew, in His infinite wisdom that I (and I'm sure a few others) would be going through this crisis of faith, and He laid this lesson on someone's heart way, way, way back when this book was being written.

Sometimes, you can just feel God hugging you. I think I've moved on from denial, anger and depression, and moved into peaceful acceptance.

Did you ever get news so unexpected that it feels like someone told you about a death in the family?

That's the kind of news I got last night. It disturbed me to a point that I couldn't concentrate on pleasant diversions like American Idol and Project Runway. I really felt for Richie, because he knew what kind of funk it put me in, and I was certainly no fun to be around last night. It upset me so badly that I woke up at 3:30 this morning with a migraine.

I don't understand the people in my church. I love them, each and every one of them. But sometimes they do the most ridiculous things. Aren't Christians supposed to open their arms and hearts up to people in our church? Why, when someone comes in, do they strive to tear them down, oppose everything they try to do in our church? Especially someone with such an obvious love for God, someone who wants to worship God with all their heart, soul, and mind and life. It makes me glad that my faith is in God, and not in other Christians, because I'm beginning to wonder how many Christians we actually have in our church.

One of the stages of grieving is anger. And boy, I'm so angry I could spit.