American Idol Season 9, Episode 39: Results

A relatively low-key, drama-less results night. A couple of Idol alum performed (Fantasia, Daughtry) and so did Bon Jovi, which hosted a theme night back in Season 6.

After Fantasia's performance, the Final 4--Mike, Casey, Lee, and Crystal-- were lined up on stools in the middle of the stage, and their families were lined up on the Safety Couch.

Ok, Crystal was wearing shirt that had penguins on the front, which makes me love her just a little more.

First, Ryan had Mike and Casey stand up, then had Lee and Crystal join them. Casey is immediately sent to safety. Huh. I kinda didn't see that coming. I mean, I did. I knew that the Top 3 were going to be Casey, Lee, and Crystal, but in my heart I didn't really want that, you know? I wanted Big Mike in there, mixing it up.

After Daughtry's performance, Mike, Lee, and Crystal are brought center stage. Yikes! Kara's hair was very, very flat tonight. Time to switch conditioners, Kara. Anyway, Ryan talked to each of the Final 3 about their song choice, then send Lee to his family on the couch.

Whoa. That means that we were down to Mike and Crystal. Seriously, my palms were sweaty.

OMG--Bon Jovi!!!! Excuse while I turn 12 for a moment. Oh, wait. They're not going to sing "Living On A Prayer"? They decided to sing something new? Never mind, I'm not 12 anymore. I'm back to being 32 and bored.

Michael and Crystal were once again brought center stage. Crystal is named as safe, and Michael is eliminated. It's OK, Mike. I bet your CD will be out by the end of the year, plus you have the Finale and Tour to look forward to.

We'll miss you, Big Mike!

Top Three next week.

Toodles!

American Idol Season 9, Episode 38: Performances

Ok, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't we just have this theme last season? And with the same mentor? Or was I just imagining that Jamie Foxx just mentored the contestants in "Songs From The Movies" in Season 8? I wasn't, was I? Are the producers really that short on theme ideas that they're stealing ideas from last season? Well, at least Jamie Foxx was a good mentor last season. Hopefully, he will be the same this season.

This is American Idol!

Oh, Lee, no. Why "Kiss From A Rose" from Batman Forever? Why sing a song that Constantine Maroulis once sang? Why sing a song from one of the worst movies in the Batman franchise? You are a better performer than that. I expect better.

Michael Lynche sang Michael Jackson. Sounds like a good idea, right? But, no. Of all the Michael Jackson songs in existence, why "Will You Be There" from Free Willy? Why not "Man In The Mirror" from Scrooged? Certainly they have clearance for it; it was one of the most performed songs during Hollywood week. It started off a little shaky, but got stronger at it progressed. The producers obviously like Mike, because they gave him not just backup singers, but an entire choir! The vocals were good, but it was also a little sleepy. I was a little bored.

The first duet of the night was Lee and Crystal singing "Falling Slowly" from the film Once. I've never heard this song or seen this movie, but I really, really liked their voices together. I loved them playing their guitars, singing with their mics backed up together. The performance felt real. It didn't feel like a reality-show performance. It felt intense and passionate, and totally redeemed Lee's shakier performance from earlier. Amazing.

As soon as I heard Seacrest say that Casey was going to sing a Simon & Garfunkel anthem from The Graduate, I knew it was going to be "Mrs. Robinson". I even said it out loud--to Richie. Why? Because I knew that Casey could not resist the siren call of those opening guitar licks in that song. But Casey fooled me. He didn't use his guitar. Instead, he chose a smaller instrument. A mandolin, maybe? Anyway, he slowed the song down, and made it much more intimate and sensitive, though I would love to take this moment to point out that this song has NOTHING to do with an older woman seducing a younger man. This song is about a woman who is being committed to a nursing home. Again, the performance was just...OK. I just didn't feel any connection.

Caddyshack? Caddyshack? Really, Bowersox? Caddyshack? I would love to see the song list these guys had to choose from. There had to be some sighing and eye-rolling going on when they saw it, because goodness knows I was definitely sighing and rolling my eyes listening to those performances last night. Certainly you don't get a theme like "Songs From The Movies" and think "Gosh. I can't wait to sing Kenny Loggins' seminal classic 'I'm Alright'!" But then Crystal Bowersox opened her mouth and assuaged all my fears. Why do I ever doubt her? She changed the song just enough so that we all were able to forget that it was a Kenny Loggins song, and made it sound like a Crystal Bowersox song. With the duet, this makes two solid performances from Crystal.

The second, and final, duet of the night was from the movie Don Juan DeMarco. Yes, my friends, Michael Lynche and Casey James are singing the Bryan Adams song "Have You Ever Loved A Woman". It was romantic and smooth, and in my opinion, a stroke of genius. You see, when Casey sings a song like this, it's TO YOU. And seeing how he has been labeled "the hottie" this season, him singing this song will make the girls go crazy and therefore boost his votes. Michael, on the other hand, is a family man, and his strength is in singing about well, the strong women in his life. This song encompassed both of those ideals. Together, they should have been an unstoppable force. I mean, look at them--they were both in black and playing guitars for goodness sakes. As good as this was, it still paled in comparison in Lee and Crystal's duet, which had chemistry so palpable you could feel it coming off the screen.

Turns out Jamie Foxx is still a great mentor. It's about time, too, since the talent is stronger at this point in the contest.

Results tonight!

American Idol Season 9, Episodes 36 & 37: Performances and Results

As much as it pains me to say this, there will be no recap for either episode this week. I have come down with a case of the flu, and am just too weak and sick to do anything but lie in bed or on the couch.

Enjoy Sinatra night!

Toodles!

American Idol Season 9, Episode 35: Results

Last night, like last Wednesday, was another big night of performances on American Idol. Wednesday nights are quickly turning into a concert series instead of being about the elimination results.

Starting the show off was Rascall Flatts singing their Olympics/Toyota song "Unstoppable". I can understand it being the theme for the Olympics, with athletes and all that, but I don't think choosing a song called "Unstoppable" was really a wise decision for Toyota, given all their brake problems and issues they've been having lately. Also, does Rascall Flatts do anything besides sing theme songs anymore?

Oh, dear. So now the Twilight/Vampire craze has hit American Idol. Really, American Idol? Really, Ford? Y'all just couldn't resist the urge to cash in, could you? Sheesh, what a terrible Ford pimpmercial. Listen, it's not that I don't like Stephanie Meyer's series. I really do. Well, I like everything but the last book. I didn't like the way she wrapped everything up in a nice little bow. Besides that, does no one remember my lifelong obsession with Buffy The Vampire Slayer? I still get excited when I see someone that was on that show in something else, so don't think I'm hating on vampires. They both fascinate and scare the bejesus out of me. ANYWAY, I thought this commercial was an example of what's really wrong in popular culture today. Take one stroll down the Young Adult/Teen Fiction aisle at your local bookstore and all you will see are ripoffs of the Twilight series. Are there no new ideas anymore? Or, at least original takes on old ideas?

OK, now we're down to results: Ryan splits the contestants up into three groups of two: Siobhan Magnus and Lee Dewyze in the first group, sent to the far left of the stage. Aaron Kelly and Crystal Bowersox in the second group, sent to the middle of the stage. Finally, Michael Lynche and Casey James were placed in the third group and told to stand on the right side of the stage closest to Ryan. Ryan then took Siobhan by the arm and walked her toward the couches, but stopped in front of Mike and Casey, announcing that this was the Bottom Three. Oh, that was COLD, letting her think she was safe and then chucking her into the Bottom Three like that. Lee, Aaron, and Crystal are safe.

In an obvious cut from last week's Idol Gives Back episode, Carrie Underwood introduced Sons Of Sylvia, and I have to admit that they were pretty good. I kind of wanted to hear more, and am thinking that maybe I need to look up their CD or something. They definitely need to be added to my playlist.

Ok, y'all. You HAVE to give me a moment to get fangirly over Lady Antebellum. It took me a little bit to get warmed up to them, but once I did, I really began to love their music. At first, I thought they were just a second-rate Sugarland knockoff, but in actuality, their blend and their aesthetic are quite different. In keeping with this week's theme of country crossovers, Lady Antebellum has a very country-pop sound, and I have to admit that I like them. I have both CDs, and "Need You Now" is in heavy rotation on my playlist.

Rascall Flatts AGAIN? Ugh, and this time they're singing with Shakira. Had to be the strangest duet ever. Completely and utterly forgettable.

Ryan's back with the Bottom Three at center stage: Siobhan, Michael, and Casey. Mike is immediately sent to the Couch of Safety. Whew! That left Siobhan and Casey, with Siobhan being eliminated.

Honestly, I can't say that I'm disappointed, because as long as the Top 4 is Crystal Bowersox, Lee Dewyze, Michael Lynche, and Casey James, I am A-OK. That' right, Aaron Kelly, I'm putting you on notice--next week shall be your last. Don't mess with the order of things.

Next week: The producers totally make up for Shania Twain week by having the Top 5 sing FRANK FREAKING SINATRA, mentored by Harry Connick, Jr. Where was Shania last night? Why didn't she perform? Why wasn't there a horribly lip-synced group sing medley of Shania's songs? Oh, that's right, the Top 6 sang every song she had out Tuesday night. There were no songs left for the Top 6 to sing! My bad.

See you Tuesday! Toodles!

American Idol Season 9, Episode 34: Performances

I'm just going to say this to get it out of the way, because I don't want there to be any confusion about where I stand on the subject. I am not a Shania Twain fan. I don't like her music. I don't like her videos. I don't like the way she conducts herself, period. For the life of me, I cannot understand why the producers chose her catalog as a theme appropriate for the Top 6. Twain was a product of the mid-'90's/early-'00s country music scene, which was a particularly weak time for the genre. She's only had maybe three albums out, and that gives the contestants maybe 10-12 singles from which to choose. Talk about a restrictive genre! It would have been much smarter to make the theme Country Music, and have Shania be the mentor. But what can I say?

This is American Idol!

Thank God that Lee Dewyze was smart enough to choose one of her least annoying songs, "Still The One" to perform this week. On a scale from 1-10, "Still The One" rates about a three. It's a non-offensive, treacly love ballad. This was very smart on Lee's behalf, because he was once again able to put his own spin on the song, so much so that it sounded like neither a Shania song nor a country song. Honestly, it sounded more like something Matt Nathanson would sing. Unfortunately, though, it was pitchy in a couple of places.

Note to Randy: Come on, man, are you kidding me? "Still The One" is one of your favorite songs of all time? You can't honestly believe it was one of the best songs ever written, right? You're just saying that because Shania was sitting four seats down from you, RIGHT?

God Bless Big Mike, because of all the contestants left in the Top 6, he is the one that concerned me the most this week. Shania isn't known for having a broad spectrum of music, so I had been really wondering what he would choose to sing. "It Only Hurts When I Breathe" was a good choice for him, because Michael Lynche can sell a ballad. He was born to sing them. He's a very emotional, expressive singers, and this time he even pulled his falsetto out for us to hear. Good job, Mike!

Casey James also returned to his roots as a balladeer, singing "Don't". But this time when he sat on his stool and played guitar, he wasn't singing TO ONLY YOU. Oh, no. This is a sensitive song, so Casey is going to squint his eyes and internalize his pain. Maybe drink away his sorrows because this is a country song. Seriously, though, it was a really good performance and great vocal that reminded us why we liked Casey in the first place--he's a great singer!

Oh. My. Goodness. I think Richie might be psychic, because I heard him JUST THIS PAST THURSDAY say that Crystal Bowersox was going to sing "No One Needs To Know". Honestly, his power kind of freaks me out. For starters, I loved the little string band she had put together backing her up. It feels like a Grand Old Opry performance with all those instrumentalists on the stage. Hmm. For the first time ever, I had to rate this on the lower scale of Crystal's performances. Her vocal wasn't great and she stumbled on the words a couple of times. Sorry, Crystal, you had an off week.

Were Aaron Kelly's fingers cramped? Why was he holding the microphone that way? His hand looked deformed and it was very distracting. Not that I'm complaining about the distraction, because "You've Got A Way" is one of Shania's more annoying songs. An 8 on a scale of 10. It was a very expected, straightforward, boring performance. But of course the judges loved it because it was country and Aaron is the only country singer in the competition.

Oh, God. Siobhan Magnus is singing "Any Man Of Mine", which earns a score of 13 on a scale of 1 to 10 in terms of how much it annoys me. I really, really despise this song because it represents a double standard. If we, as women, want men to treat us as equals, shouldn't we do the same to them? I don't want a puppet. I want a man who is not afraid to disagree with me. I don't want my opinions to be his opinions just because they're my opinions! Listen, Richie treats me like a queen but he doesn't bow down to me. He's my partner, not my minion. OK, OK, I'm stepping off my feminist soap-box now. Happy? We'll walk about Siobhan singing this song. OH, GOOD HEAVENS. She sang the entire song through her nose! And in her lower register! It was painful to listen to her howling and screeching! I can't believe that the judges liked this performance.

The first half of the show was great, but the quality began to slide downhill beginning with performance #4, and never regained momentum. However, Richie and I came to the conclusion that we like Shania's music when she isn't the one singing it. Now that I was actually able to listen to the songs without hearing her, I have to admit that the songs are pretty decent. Her strength is definitely in songwriting. Shania STILL annoys me, though, and I am VERY happy that it's over!

Bottom Three: Your guess is as good as mine!

Results tonight.

Toodles!

American Idol Season 9, Episode 33: Idol Gives Back/Results

Ok, friends and neighbors. Last night's show was way, way, WAY too terribly long, so I am keeping this recap wonderfully simple.

The Good:
-Jennifer Garner reading to children
-Morgan Freeman attempting to hula-hoop with children
-George Lopez and Wanda Sykes' stand-up routines
-Carrie Underwood looking beautiful and polished
-Annie Lennox, Elton John, and the Mary J. Blige All-Star Band

The Bad:
-The Group Sing
-The Black Eyed Peas, who proved that some groups need to stay in the studio, although I did love Fergie's superhero costume, complete with cape. And the fact that she stood like Wonder Woman, with her fists on her hips, all through Queen Latifah's speech about giving back.
-Joss Stone, revealing that she was in fact not British, but from Backwoods Podunk, by singing "STAIND" instead of "STAND".
-The announcement that next week's theme is the MUSIC OF SHANIA TWAIN.

The Cheesy:
-Everything with Russell Brandt and Jonah Hill (although I find their movies hilarious)
-EVERYTHING ELSE that wasn't a heartbreaking video about needy or dying children

Let's let Ryan build the Bottom Three and send someone home, shall we?

Seascrest pulled Crystal and Casey to the center of the stage and announced that neither of them had ever been in the bottom three before. Crystal is sent to the Couch of Safety, and Casey is sent to the Chairs of Doom.

Aaron and Lee were then brought to center stage, where Lee was sent to safety, and Aaron was sent to sit with Casey.

For the final member of the Bottom Three, Siobhan, Mike, and Tim join Ryan in the center of the stage. Siobhan and Mike will return next week, and Tim is sent to the Bottom Three.

The Bottom Three: Casey James, Aaron Kelly, and Tim Urban

Casey and Aaron were safe, and Tim was eliminated. Idol Gives Back ran so long that Tim couldn't even sing us out.

Next is week Shania Twain week, and I guess that's fitting for the Top 6 since that's only about how many songs she had. Can you guess I'm not a fan? Feel free to disagree with me all you like in the comments.

Toodles!

American Idol Season 9, Episode 32: Performances

Ugh. Do y'all know how much I just wanted to throw in the towel after last night's episode and just give you all a one-word synopsis for each performance? For starters, the "Inspirational Songs" theme has never given us much inspiration. Like, what does "inspirational" mean anyway? It can mean religious songs, or songs like "Man In The Mirror" that make want to be a better person. Or, you know, Peggy Lee's "I Enjoy Being A Girl", because I find clothes and makeup inspiring. And books. But I don't think there are any songs about books. Except the theme to Reading Rainbow.

By the way, the theme wasn't "Inspirational Songs", but rather "Idol Gives Back: Songs of Inspiration" as Ryan was so nice to inform me, and the mentor was Alicia Keyes.

This is American Idol!

Casey James opened the show with Fleetwood Mac's "Don't Stop". The vocal was good. He played his guitar well. It was a solid performance, but probably my least favorite of his. It just felt like it was missing...something. Randy was right when he said that his performances are beginning to get repetitive.

Lee Dewyze sang "The Boxer" by Simon & Garfunkel. A song like this is quite a departure for him, but I'm glad he took the risk. He's getting more and more comfortable on stage and with his role on the show. It's pretty great, sitting here and watching him blossom as an artist. He took the song and really made it his own. Every song he sings sounds like it either belongs on his CD or like something he would sing in concert.

Tim Urban brought his guitar out again with The Goo Goo Dolls' "Better Days". All through Alicia's tutelage of Tim, I kept wondering if he was going to continue his trend of improving slowly with each performance. Sadly, or not, depending on where you stand on the whole Tim Urban issue, last night's performance did not earn a grade of "exceeds expectations". You could tell that he was really into singing that song, but I just really couldn't tell if he sang it well or not. I didn't hate it, but is that good enough?

Soup of the day? Where does Ellen get this stuff? Her brain fascinates me.

Four performances in, and I am bored to TEARS. My screensaver is more interesting to watch than American Idol last night, especially Aaron Kelly's rendition of R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly". He was up there on that stage singing his little heart out, and I couldn't muster any emotion stronger than "Meh". Maybe it's the head cold I'm getting, but probably not.

Ryan, Alicia, and Siobhan all told us that she was singing "When You Believe" by Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey, but I didn't hear a word over that wood-nymph creation she was wearing. Good mother Mary of mercy, the girl had butterflies perched on twigs wrapped around her arms, various types of leaves and fauna pasted across the bodice, and shoes that resembled tree bark crawling up her shins. It was like Mother Nature had flown in and was now a contestant on American Idol. I remember hearing some high notes and some big notes, but I couldn't hear the words over her dress.

Michael Lynche hasn't taken the rock route in a while, and hearing him sing "Hero" by Nickleback is refreshing. I'm not sure that we've heard him sing a song like this since the first week of the Top 24. Did Tim and Mike go shopping together? Because they're both wearing black long-sleeved henleys and black jeans. And playing guitars. Good gravy, Michael has a voice on him. I love it when he belts his notes out--he takes that note, digs around into and makes it his new home.

Wisely, they had the most exciting performer, Crystal Bowersox, close the show with an amazing version of "People Get Ready". Crystal completely turned my world upside down by not only going almost completely acapella, and decided to not have an instrument during her performance, but also wearing a gown! No, not a nightgown, but a red-carpet event worthy evening gown! My mind, it was fully blown. Almost like I had watched Shutter Island again. It really made sense for her to sing "People Get Ready" last night, transitioning from the uptempo Elvis song "Saved", both of which have an overtly gospel sound. Allow me a total fangirl moment: OMG SHE IS AMAZING!!! Thank you. Sometimes it's difficult to come up with a more astute description of their performances other than, you know, "OMG AMAZING" and "OMG SUCKS GO HOOOOOME ALREADY". But, because I love all you, I search for things to say. Back to Crystal's performance--she is breathtakingly talented, and her breaking down at the end really accented the performance and drove home the emotion that she was feeling. She totally, totally owned that song and made everyone else look like an amateur. Yes, even Micheal and Lee, whom I both really like.

I don't have much of a summary except to say that Alicia was not a very effective mentor, and that last night's show was a gaping sinkhole of charisma, with ONE notable exception. UGH.

Bottom Three: Tim Urban, Aaron Kelly, Siobhan Magnus

Possibly going home: Honestly, I just really don't care as long as it's not Crystal, Lee, or Michael.

Tonight--results and another gasping stinkfest of "Idol Gives Back".

Toodles!

American Idol Season 9, Episode 31: Results

I love it when the producers place Ryan Seacrest up in the balcony with Ricky Minor and the band, like he's delivering an official proclamation to the American Idol kingdom, which, if you think about it, he really is. Of course, that makes Simon the king and Ellen the court jester. But what does that make Randy and Kara? Something to think about when as you read the recap from last night's results show.

This is American Idol!

What a horrible, horrible rendition of an Elvis Medley! The Top 9 sang "Burning Love", "Teddy Bear", "Return To Sender", and "Viva Las Vegas". Well, they sang it in a studio, obviously, because they sounded like singers from the demo CD that came with Cathryn's karaoke machine. Everyone up on that stage looked like they could barely lip-sync for laughing over that horribly arranged, horribly choreographed mess. No matter how well any of them do in this competition, they are going to look back on last night and cringe.

Ryan pulled Aaron, Casey, and Andrew to the middle of the stage, and immediately put Andrew out of his misery, sending him home. It was a mercy killing, really, because Andrew was such a good guy and it was difficult to see him struggle onstage. Aaron and Casey were sent to safety and Andrew took center stage, singing "Something" as his goodbye song. For one last time, I felt the magic that he used to have as a competitor.

After a couple sets of performances (that I didn't bother watching), Ryan trudged the entire bottom row that had been sitting on the couch out to the center of the stage--Tim, Crystal, Michael, Katie, Siobhan, and Lee. Going in reverse order, he recapped everything the judges said about their performances on Tuesday night, then immediately sent Crystal, Siobhan, and Lee back to safety, which left Tim, Michael, and Katie as the Bottom Three. After sending Tim back to the couch, Ryan told the audience the one of the two standing up there is going home, and the other was never even in the Bottom Three.

And then Ryan Seacrest sent Katie Stevens packing. I'm not upset about this elimination, either, because she, too, was really struggling and not growing as an artist. She sang herself out with "Let It Be", which was her best performance to date on American Idol.

Next week: Idol Gives Back, Inspirational Songs, and Alicia Keyes as mentor.

Toodles!

American Idol Season 9, Episode 30: Performances

Last night, the Top 9 sang the songs of Elvis Presley, which is yet again another retread theme from recent seasons past. Y'all will just have to forgive me for my grouchiness, because I can feel it creeping up on me throughout this season. I just can't help it. Does it feel to y'all that the producers have gotten very lazy and don't even bother to give us remotely original themes? The last theme we had that wasn't a retread of a past season was Top 12 night, Rolling Stones Night. Sheesh, American Idol. Your viewers are not idiots.

We've seen last night's mentor many times, only as a contestant last season, instead of as a mentor. That's right, it's none other than the incredibly polarizing Season 8 Runner-Up Adam Lambert. I just have to tell y'all straight up that I was never a member of the Adam Armada. I was always a proud member of Kamp Kris. Even so, I will try to not be mean. can anyone tell me, though, why they chose a runner-up to be a mentor? Especially one so fresh and green as an established artist? (Unless you buy into the belief that Adam was planted into the competition last year by producers. Of course, this is definitely my belief.) Maybe it was something as simple as he was the only contestant from Season 8 who hasn't performed on a Wednesday night this season, and this was the only was the producers could get him on the show. Much like the disastrous Season 6 episode where Gwen Stefani mentored the awful theme "Songs That Inspire Gwen Stefani". Hopefully, tonight will be much more successful.

This IS American Idol!

Crystal Bowersox changed things up last night. She sang an uptempo song, "Saved", with an electric guitar and background vocalists, which definitely gave her the gospel feel she was looking for in this song. It probably wasn't one of my favorite performances of Crystal's, but it was a good, solid performance. She is just a mainstay of excellence week after week. Don't get complacent, voters! It's not the performances that get you through--it's the votes, and there are no more saves left to give out from the judges.

Andrew Garcia sang "Hound Dog" last night and I loved his old-school microphone. I think I want one for my house. If I ever were even to consider getting a tattoo, it would be of a microphone just like that, maybe with stars around it or something. I don't know. I'm just dreaming out loud. Andrew's performance wasn't as Vegas-y as last week's "Can't Buy Me Love", but it was still a karaoke performance. I don't know what's happened to Andrew. He had so much potential, and now none of his performances are special. I think it's time for Andrew to pack his knives and go. Oh, wait--wrong reality competition. Same sentiment.

Richie swears that every time Tim Urban smiles, his teeth glint like he's in an Orbitz gum commercial. Urban (heh-heh, Seacrest called him "Turban") obviously took a page from the book of Casey James and decided to sing "I Can't Help Falling In Love" JUST. TO. YOU. And your teenage daughter. Look at me, I'm a non-threateningly handsome clean-cut teenage boy. You can trust me. Let me take your daughter out. We'll go to church together and take long walks in the park, holding hands while we talk about Meaningful Things. Tim gave the song a slightly modern spin, and the more he sang it, the better it got. I think if he had done a full performance of the song, it would have been really good. I'm glad that he trusted his gut and didn't go into his head voice to end the song, because it sounded much better ending on a low note. DARN IT, URBAN. You have turned into an American Idol Ninja, sneaking up on the viewing audience by stealthily getting better each week.

Oh, no, Lee Dewyze! I had really hoped that none of my favorite contestants would choose to sing the Idol-Killer song that is "A Little Less Conversation". Remember Season 5? Oh, let's not speak of it and live happier lives. I was so happy to see that he took this song to a new place, playing it acoustically and really giving it his all. Kara said Lee was a little uptight, and I agree that he still could stand to loosen up a little on stage and really, really have fun. It's obvious he loves what he does--he just needs to show it a little more. He sang to the crowd more, which was great. The whole feel of the song was very current, and the raspy quality of his voice gave the song a new sound. Excellent.

That seems to be the theme this year, isn't it? Making yourself seem current and marketable. "Current" is American Idol 2010's buzzword.

Speaking of someone who could be marketable but isn't necessarily current is the young Aaron Kelly. He sang the iconic (and very dated) "Blue Suede Shoes". A woman could get away with singing this song now and possibly make it current, but not Aaron. What man wears blue suede shoes now? And from the opening chords of this song, every piece of Aaron's performance was old-fashioned. He looked like he was having fun at the biggest karaoke bar ever.

Aaron is marketable but not current, and Siobhan Magnus is the exact opposite. She doesn't like labels, but the music industry thrives on labels, because how else can they market you? Let yourself get labeled, and then transcend it. She chose to sing "Suspicious Minds", another Idol-Killer. Elvis is like a death machine, taking down good contestants one by one. "Suspicious Minds" is very background-vocal heavy, so I was very curious to see what the curious Ms. Magnus was going to do with the song. I didn't like the way she had her back to the audience, playing to the camera. It seemed just as dated as the arrangement. Her voice is gorgeous, but I didn't like this performance. It was paced strangely and just...weird. Her white outfit also looked like something a Project Runway contestant would make after they'd been told that they had to make a garment out of my grandmother's old Sunday purses.

Siobhan smartly suggested "In The Ghetto" to Michael Lynche. It's funny that she would suggest this song to him, because I could totally hear her singing this herself. But I am glad that she didn't, because then we wouldn't have gotten to hear this gorgeous, hungry, haunting, stripped-down version by Michael. Like Crystal and Lee and *cough* Tim *cough*, he made this song his own. I have a hard time calling Michael "Big Mike" like everyone else does, mostly because I keep thinking about The Blind Side and how Michael Oher didn't like being called "Big Mike".

Katie Stevens sang a very uptempo song in "Baby, What Do You Want Me To Do?" Finally! She also sang it with lots of attitude. I just wish that she'd sing to someone other than the judges. I had never heard this particular Elvis song before, just like I had never heard Crystal's, but unlike Crystal's performance, if I hadn't taken notes on Katie's song, I wouldn't have remembered it. I'm trying to remember it now and am having trouble recalling the tune of the song. A bit sharp in places.

Finally (it felt like this episode lasted FOREVER...but maybe I was just anxious for GLEE), Casey James closed the show with "Lawdy Miss Claudy". I've heard this song a million times, so I was really happy that he changed the arrangement. It was almost unrecognizable in the most wonderful way. The way he performed it made it seem like it belonged on his album. I thought it was really a great vocal, and the way he picked up the pace of the song. I couldn't imagine him singing any other song, no matter how much the judges disliked his performance.

No performances really sparkled last night like I had hoped. There were several solid performances from contestants from whom we've come to expect this kind of thing--Crystal, Lee, Michael, and Casey, but mostly it just felt like any other night. As a mentor, Adam could only help them so much, but he was still better than Miley, but not as awesome as Usher.

Josie's Bottom Three: Andrew, Aaron, Katie

Possibly going hom: Andrew, Aaron

Results tonight!

Toodles!

American Idol Season 9, Episode 29: Results

Last night's episode left me in pain.

From the very beginning when they opened with that trainwreck of a Lennon/McCartney medley group sing, I was literally cringing through the entire episode. Ugh. Terrible, obvious lip -syncing. What's worse is that the vocals they were lip-syncing to weren't very good to begin with. Everyone looked unrehearsed and terribly uncomfortable.

Then the manipulation began. Ryan pulled the girls--Siobhan, Crystal, and Katie--to the center of the stage. No way this was the Bottom Three, I said to myself. In a completely 'duh' moment, Ryan sent Crystal to the couch, and everyone across the viewing audience said, "Well, yeah, Ryan. Obviously she's safe." Then he sent Siobhan and Katie back to safety, telling us that all the girls were safe and would be back next week.

I could already tell by this point that I was going to need medication of some sort. I wish I had gone rifling through my medicine cabinet for my Percoset or at least had a glass of wine if Ryan was going to treat us this way all night.

And of course, that's exactly what Ryan did. He waited after a couple of performances, but then he split everyone into two groups: Lee, Casey, and Tim to his right and Michael, Aaron, and Andrew to his left.

Because Ellen, to Ryan, is the extension of the viewing audience, he makes her squirm a bit, asking her which group is the Bottom Three. He finally puts her (and us) out of our misery and sends Lee, Casey, and Tim back to safety, leaving Michael, Aaron, and Andrew on stage in the Bottom Three. Ryan immediately sends Aaron back to the couch and I am shocked beyond all reason. Certainly is wasn't Michael who received the second-lowest number of votes. Certainly it will be Andrew who will be going home. Right? RIGHT????

At first, I thought Ryan was just messing with my head, and it wasn't really Michael who got the lowest number of votes and was up for elimination. But then, Michael had a mic in his hand, and was singing Maxwell's "Women's Work" and I began to rock back and forth, praying that the judges would use their one save of the season. Mike is one of the big personalities AND he's a great singer--certainly they wouldn't let him go!

FINALLY, after what seemed like an eternity of Simon's hemming and hawing, he announced that they would be using their save, and that Michael would be back to perform next week. Yes! Ryan was so excited that I thought that he was going to do a toe-touch right on the stage.

Next week, two contestants will be sent home.

Toodles!

American Idol Season 9, Episode 28: Performances

The Top 9 sang songs from the Lennon/McCartney songbook last night, which is actually a broader theme than calling it Beatles Week, because it opens up the possibility if singing songs from the solo careers of John Lennon and Paul McCartney as well as the hits of the Fab Four. I've been a little miffed about the producers choosing this theme for the Season 9 since it was just two seasons ago that the Top 12 and Top 11 contestants of Season 7 had this very same theme. But the more I thought of it, the less miffed I became, because the producers did Disco week for, like, four seasons straight. So I got over myself really quickly and just sat back to enjoy the show.

This is American Idol!

I love The Beatles, have I mentioned that? I'm sure that I have. I even have Beatles Rockband for Wii, and I have scored 4 & 5 stars on each song, which means that I shall be holding these contestants to a very high standard. Mine. Because this is my blog and I can do that.

Do the producers hate Aaron Kelly? Is he secretly a diva behind that Howdy-Doody aw-shucks manner he puts out on stage? Because that's the only reason why I think they would let him sing "The Long and Winding Road" first. It is easily one of the most boring Beatles song out there. I'm glad that I wasn't very tired because that long, boring, winding road of a performance would have put me right to sleep. Oh, gosh, that performance lasted forever! I think Cathryn is like 15 or something now, waiting for that song to finish. It was so incredibly off-key, too. Bottom Three, Mr. Kelly.

Also, Ellen? Quit stealing my quips, because it makes me look like I'm stealing from you. Consider this your notice.

Katie Stevens looked very pretty in pink, which prompted Richie to sing the Billy Idol song of the same name. During the commercial of course, because Richie knows better than to break the first commandment of the house: Thou Shalt Not Disturb Josie While She Is Watching American Idol. When she announced that she was singing "Let It Be", my heart kind of seized up, because this is my favorite late-era Beatles songs. (There are two kinds of Beatles songs--Early Era, in which they were predecessors to the Jonas Brothers, a guitar-playing boy band; and Late Era, in which The Beatles traveled around the world doing all kinds of drugs and writing crazy lyrics and playing sitar music on their records because they were The Beatles, gosh-darn-it, the most successful rock band in the world. Yes, all of this will be on the test.) Katie is not known for always delivering the most riveting or technically proficient performances, so I was a bit worried. But when she began to sing, my worries melted away while she delivered a beautiful, haunting rendition of a Beatles classic. It felt really personal. Best performance of hers to date.

Ellen, am I going to have to reprimand you after every performance? Sheesh, lady. Don't jink Katie and tell her that she's safe! This will be the week she goes home after a strong performance!

Oh, Andrew Garcia. Andrew, Andrew, Andrew. What can I tell you? That just wasn't a good performance of "Can't Buy Me Love". It had potential for greatness, but when you sing an Early-Era Beatles tune, you can't sing it like you're on The Ed Sullivan Show. It was strange for him to be set up behind the judges with his guitar and mic stand. The horns were really distracting and out of place. If he had left out the horns, he could have had another great week. Didn't he learn anything last week from the great Master Mentor Usher? It's just so frustrating to see someone so full of potential flounder because of poor choices. If he had slowed it down a little, pared down the arrangement a bit, it really could have been a great performance. Bottom Three.

How awesome was it that Michael Lynche's family band was called "The Lynche Mob"? Pretty awesome. Also awesome? That Mike had an entire orchestra backing him last night when he sang "Eleanor Rigby". That's big stuff, and it means that the producers like you. More awesome? A completely unexpected, but totally fitting gospel/metal arrangement of this song. I was completely blown away. The vocals were spot-on, and it felt very modern. The gospel arrangement inspired Kara so much she began to preach.

Did y'all hear Seacrest totally steal my tagline for Crystal--"Bowersox Rox"? I knew I should have trademarked that line. I could be living on royalty checks right now. Sheesh. I'll know better next time. I'll be prepared. "Come Together" is another of my favorite Late-Era Beatles tunes. This was totally Crystal, wasn't it? I was afraid Casey would take this song as his own, but we were treated to Crystal instead. She stayed true to the original but changed it up just enough, and delivered another 5-star performance. I felt the smile spread completely over my face watching her perform and listening to her sing. I love it when she opens her voice up and really belts because her voice is so powerful. Amazing.

*SIGH* YOU SHOULD BE GOING HOME THIS WEEK TIM URBAN. WHY DID YOU GO AND PULL OFF A DECENT PERFORMANCE, BOYBANDER? For the love of Paul McCartney! I hate to admit it, but the was the perfect Lennon/McCartney song for him to sing. It was just the best choice. It's so pop, one of the most memorable from that fabled Ed Sullivan Show performance, and Tim himself is so pop. He was even in key the entire time AND made it sound like something that could be on the radio today. Maybe not Mix 97.7, but maybe some adult-rock station, like Bob 104 or something. *SIGH* Richie even said he looked like he belonged in a Mentos commercial. *SIGH* You went and ruined the order of things, Urban. Now I'm sure Andrew will be going home instead of you.

Casey James sang "Jealous Guy", and it may come as a shock to you all, but I didn't know this song. Let that sink in for a minute. Try to get over the shock of me not actually being familiar with a Lennon/McCartney song. Just take a second and it will pass. Casey hasn't done a slow song in a while, and I think it was a good move. He seemed really emotionally connected to the song, practically shaking while he sang it. It was a really powerful performance, very--dare I say it? This is American Idol--gritty. I was really impressed by this performance. One of the best of the night, if not the best so far. Right up there with Bowersox.

Siobhan Magnus wore a god-awful frock. I don't even know how to explain it. It was a denim vest and the skirt was made with yards and yards of dirty-looking tulle. And lets not forget the icing on the dirty wedding cake--the pearly white combat boots. My mind positively reeled at the amazing ugliness of this outfit. "Across The Universe" is one of Lennon/McCartney's most original, beautiful, and unique songs, and I have been waiting since Season 7 to hear someone sing it. Who better than the gleefully unique Siobhan? They go together like ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong. Pieces of this song--and her vocal--are gorgeous and very restrained. Other parts, it sounds like she's mumbling. It was the tiniest bit sleepy, but I think her controlled performance more than made up for it.

Finally, Lee Dewyze closed us out with "Hey Jude", as all good Beatles shows should. It started off a little shaky, but really got into the performance later, interacting with the audience. Like Casey's performance, and Crystal's, it didn't feel like an American Idol performance--it felt real. The bagpipes were really unexpected, but I don't necessarily think it was a wise choice. Take out those bagpipes and it was a really good way to close the show, and a solid performance from Lee.

Overall, it was a decent, unembarrassing night for the contestants. No one was overtly terrible, and there were one or two standout moments. Has anyone else noticed that the expanse this year between Those That Can Win and Those That Can't is very noticeable and very wide, and it's verging on making the season boring (for those of you who aren't bored already). Maybe things will pick up soon.

Bottom Three: Aaron Kelly, Andrew Garcia, Tim Urban (not that he did a bad job, but he's been in the Bottom Three every week so far, so why stop now?)

Possibly going home: Andrew Garcia

Results tonight!

American Idol Season 9, Episode 26: Performances

I'm getting ready to tell you all something that's going to be shocking: I missed the first hour of American Idol Tuesday night because I was hanging out with my friends! I know! And the funny thing is, even though I tell Cathryn that the first rule of our house on Tuesday nights is Thou Shalt Not Disturb Mommy While She Is Watching American Idol, I wasn't even slightly upset about it. Believe it or not, there are more important things in this world than American Idol.

This is what I've gleaned from Ryan Seacrest's end-of-show recap and What Not To Sing:

Siobhan Magnus sang a very off-key version of Chaka Khan's "Through The Fire" but I loved her braid. I've been completely obsessed with braids for the last couple months. Haven't worn a braid since Monday, though, when my hairstylist worked her magic fingers in my hair.

Casey James treated us to another power performance, singing "Hold On" by Sam & Dave.

Michael Lynche is still solid, this time bringing his guitar back to the stage to sing India.Arie's "Ready For Love".

Did DiDi Benami just sing the same three notes over and over again in her rendition of Jimmy Ruffin's "What Becomes of The Broken Hearted"?

Tim Urban made the fatal mistake of singing a beautiful song that he had no business singing--"Sweet Love" by Anita Baker.

I turned the TV on just in time to see Randy, Ellen, Kara, and Simon ripping Tim apart on stage. Well, I take that back. Simon wasn't really ripping him apart. Simon verbalized what we've all been thinking: it doesn't matter how much Tim stinks it up on stage, he's going to continue to stay in the competition because Grandmas and little girls like his smile.

Andrew Garcia, who before the commercial break was waving at us from the balcony like he was Forrest Gump, chose to do an acoustic version of Chris Brown's song "Forever". At first, I was immensely worried. But, then I got to see the week's mentor, Usher, work his magic on Andrew. He immediately recognized that Andrew was over-thinking and overworking his arrangements and performances. When Andrew began to play his guitar and sing, all I could say was "whoa." This was the Andrew we saw so many weeks ago. It was a phenomenal performance. Usher really brought out the best in him, and I hope this is a trend that continues.

Also, how awesome and adorable was Andrew's mom? You could tell that Simon adored her.

Why did Katie Stevens choose to wear a jumper? I had to wear them when I was like four, and I still hate them. It's very difficult to go to the bathroom and they're terribly unflattering. Here Katie is, cute as a button, singing Aretha Franklin's "Chain Of Fools" and looking bottom heavy when we all know that she's not! I loved watching her sing this song. She carried around enough attitude for the whole cast. I was half-expecting her to cut her eyes at the judging panel. I had to agree with the judges' assessment, though. Her vocals were beautiful but she once again chose an older song instead of something current.

Lee Dewyze sang "Treat Her Like a Lady" by The Temptations. Usher, once again proving himself to be the coolest guy on the planet, called hearing Lee's version 'a treat'. That bodes well for his chances in the competition, since he seems to be getting better all the time as his confidence grows. Speaking of Lee's confidence issue, Usher picked up on that, and played therapist to him. Once again, Usher worked his Fonz-like cool-guy magic because this turned out to be one of Lee's best performances, if not his best. Lee sang not like he was in competition, but like he was in concert, and that's always a good thing.

Crystal Bowersox wore stilettos. If that wasn't enough to blow your mind, she also sat down at a piano to sing the first verse of Gladys Knight & the Pips very excellent song "Midnight Train to Georgia", then stood up and held the mic in her hand. No guitar! I kind of missed it, though. I was surprised to hear that this was her song choice, because Gladys Knight is about as far away from Janis Joplin as you can get, but when Crystal began to sing, it all made sense. This song has the same longing as "Bobby McGee", and that kind of song really suits her. She hit notes I didn't know were in her register. She really is the most amazing singer. My only wish is that she's gone for just the strapless dress and had left the shrug behind because it made her shoulders seem too wide.

Aaron Kelly closed out the show with Bill Withers' "Ain't No Sunshine", a song most recently hit out of the park by our reigning American Idol, Kris Allen. I don't think I'd choose a song so fresh in everyone's memory, because everyone is going to compare it to Kris's performance. Listening to him sing, you could really tell that nerves had him, because the beginning of the song was very shaky. This is such a passionate song, but it seemed that the performance was completely passionless. Usher, who by now we know is full of wisdom, gave Aaron advice on how to sing the most important part of the song, but he completely ignored it. I didn't hear any of that desire or longing in his voice that this song calls for. In short, Aaron Kelly is no Kris Allen, even if they have the same initials, only backwards.

From what I saw, we had a lot of solid performances last night, but those performances only highlighted the contestants who are clearly not in the running for the title of American Idol 2010. Every contestant could have benefited from Usher's considerable knowledge in both the Soul/R&B genre arena, as well as the performance aspect, and those that are in the running for winning this whole thing really took his advice to heart. I hope they bring Usher back, and soon. Or maybe someone can give him his own reality show, Performance Clinics with Dr. Usher. I would totally watch that.

Can't name a bottom three, because I didn't see the entire show.

Results Wednesday night!

Toodles!

American Idol Season 9, Episode 27: Results

Today's recap of last night's result show is going to be brief. Mostly because I have a headache this morning, and I wasn't really feeling the recaps this week. I was much more interested in reading with Cathryn last night, and hanging out with Richie and our friends Tuesday night.

In short: Ruben Studdard continues to be the most likable, adorable, and humble contestant that American Idol has ever seen. The idea of Ruben and Clay Aiken going on tour together makes me all kinds of happy inside. Don't you just want to giggle uncontrollably at the idea? It's a brilliant idea, actually.

I did not care for either Usher's performance or Diddy's performance. There. I said it.

Bottom Three: Katie Stevens, DiDi Benami, and Tim Urban. This was a perfectly acceptable bottom three to me. If we were going by pure logic, in that who has been in the bottom three the longest should go home, then Tim Urban's number was up, having been in the bottom three every week since Top 12 Results night. Also, that would mean Katie should go next week. But, alas, seeing DiDi up there tells me that she is going to be the one to go, and I was so right. Did I want Tim Urban to leave the competition because he is working my LAST nerve with his terrible performances and warbly vocals? Oh, my, yes. But am I distraught that DiDi was sent home? No, it was totally her time because she clearly was not going to win over Crystal, Michael, Siobhan, and Lee.

Next week: The Lennon/McCartney Songbook. Um, didn't they use this same theme the first two weeks of Season 7? I don't see how this can turn out well at all.

Toodles!

American Idol Season 9, Episode 25: Results

Last night, when the Results show opened, I couldn't even concentrate on the visuals because of Miley's voice. She's precious, don't get me wrong, but does anyone else have the overwhelming compulsion to tell her to take something for that dreadful cold? She sounds so stuffy.

Did the judges use the save? This IS American Idol!

Was the group sing, Wham's "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" lip-synced? Almost definitely, but for the first time, I just didn't care. That performance was a thing of awesomeness. The choreography so cheesy, the harmonies so tight in places (well, that's actually a good thing) that I just could not keep myself from grinning. I want that performance in my pocket for rainy days.

The Ford music video for "Our Time Now" was so uninspired that it doesn't even warrant mentioning, but I guess I kinda have to, since it was part of the show. The contestants drove to a fountain in their Ford Fiestas, threw in buckets of plastic balls, then drove away. Oh, and they left Andrew behind.

Ryan mixed things up and instead of just sending one to the chairs, he sent two. No, not Casey and Lee (boy that scared me!) but Paige and Tim, who were also in the Bottom Three last week.

Miley Cyrus performed "When I Look At You", her latest single and also the song from her new movie, "The Last Song". Told you all the mentoring was for movie promotion. Sometimes, it pays to be a cynic. At least she didn't lip-sync, because that irks me. Her white satiny dress was pretty, but it was a little too loose on her, and I couldn't see the neckline for all that hair of hers. I wondered briefly if it was all hers, or if it was mostly extensions. Speaking of her hair, Miley has this thing about flipping her hair and head--banging. She did it so much at her concert in Columbia that I began to half-wonder if it was a security blanket kind of thing, you know, to cover up her nervousness. Odd.

The third contestant Ryan sent to the chairs--Katie Stevens. I was seriously shocked by that announcement. But, then Ryan eased all our fears and sent Katie right back the couch.

I did not enjoy any part of the Joe Jonas/Demi Lovato performance "Make A Wave". Was it even about anything? What are they even doing? Promoting Camp Rock 2? I couldn't understand any part of it, and I can pretty much understand most songs. What an overworked, over-sung piece of fluff that was. I think Demi forgot half her words and made up for it by grinning and singing lots of runs and riffs. Ugh.

When the pain of that performance was over, Ryan told us that it was Paige Miles that was being sent home, and Simon immediately told her that they would not be using the Judge's Save. She sang the show out with "All Right Now", and I will really miss her. She was amazingly talented but was ultimately brought down by poor song choice.

Next week theme's, STRAIGHT FROM RYAN'S MOUTH, is Soul and R&B, as mentored by Mr. Smooth and Cool himself, Usher.

One last thing--I have the most awesome readers in the world. My friend Niki read my post yesterday and sent me my own mini-Ryan with this message:"Okay, so if Amazon wasn't out of these when I just tried to order it, you would HAVE your very own Ryan Seacrest to sit on your your brand new built in bookcase. Sorry for the disappointment. It doesn't look that much like him anyway....better luck next time! Love you! Niki"

Thanks, Niki! I didn't even know these existed!

Toodles!

American Idol Season 9, Episode 24: Performances

The various openings that this show offers up to us, the American Idol obsessives, I mean, loyal viewers, are amazing. Ryan Seacrest's head floated ominously on a screen above the Top 11, who were lined up on stage. But then--Ryan is there at the end of the line, waiting for us. Oh, Ryan, don't ever change.

THIS is American Idol!

Know what my favorite part of American Idol is? If you guess the performances, you're wrong. My favorite part is when Ryan chooses to banter with the judges. While Kara is the serious judge, the other three realize that this is a reality show and play along with the silliness. Randy told us that this is a very important night, because only the Top 10 will make it onto the tour, and you want that opportunity. Ellen immediately jumped in and told us all to vote. Because that's the only way your favorite will stay in, you know! You got to vote! Ryan changed the subject quickly, because he is the master of witty banter. He spoke with Kara about Simon giving her a hard time with judges and their differences over song interpretation. Simon, of course, could not help but chime in. This egged Ryan on even more, getting him to tease Simon about his gray v-neck sweater, which I wondered for a bit if that wasn't what he wore last week.

The theme this week is #1 Hits from the Billboard Charts. Um, wasn't this the theme when we were dwindling down the Top 24 to the Top 12. When I looked this up last week, it was supposed to be Teen Idols, and I am not happy about being misinformed. I can promise that it won't happen again. Last night's mentor was one Miss Miley Cyrus, and at 17 was the youngest mentor in American Idol history. And while I know her career is on fire right now, I just don't think she was the best choice as a mentor, as evidenced by her choice to not critique the contestants but instead instruct them on how to connect with the audience. Um, but isn't the job of mentor supposed to be one of steering them in the right direction, especially vocally? Making them the best performer they can be?

Lee Dewyze was up first, singing "The Letter" by The Box Tops. This song has been sung on American Idol before, most famously by Michael Johns and Carly Smithson in Season 7. Honestly, they also sang it better. I didn't get the arrangement at all. I would have totally dropped those horns, and sang it like the rock song that it is. I mean, isn't that what Lee is? He likes the rock music, not this quasi-Latin thing that happened on stage last night. It was very odd seeing him without his guitar, but it was nice to see him move around the stage a little bit, like he's getting his confidence up. Not my favorite performance, even if the judges praised it.

Oh, Paige Miles. Please don't sing "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins. It has a horrible history on American Idol. No one has ever performed it well. I mean, there's nothing wrong with being ambitious and wanting to do a better version than what has been performed before, but you have to respect superstition and let sleeping dogs lie. Unfortunately, she sang the entire song off-pitch. I kept hoping for it to get better when her voice got louder, but it didn't. I just heard sharp notes and a shaking voice. Definitely her worse performance, and a danger to go home. She was already in the bottom three last week.

Also in the bottom three last week was Tim Urban. And this week, he chose to sing...Queen? Are you freaking kidding me? What is this kid smoking that makes him think he can carry off a Queen song? Even if it is the most un-Queen-like song in their wheelhouse, it's still a Queen song. I don't think Tim could even carry off the Michael Buble version of this song. He doesn't have enough character in his voice. Richie even called it a "skating rink song". Tim definitely tried to distract the audience from his weak performance by doing stage acrobatic--sliding around the stage, jumping into a pool of screaming girls, etc. At least it wasn't off-pitch. That's really sad, actually.

Aaron Kelly is also suffering from laryngitis AND tonsillitis, so he gets a bit of a pass this week. It's not easy to sing when you're sick. Yikes. My heart went out to him. So apparently, Aaron not only auditioned with Miley Cyrus' "The Climb", but he also had a bit of a crush on her. On stage, the screens parted and he walked to the mic, singing Aerosmith's "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing". It started off nicely. I like it when he uses his voice softly, because then it doesn't sound like baby goats are being murdered on stage. But the minute he starts hitting the big notes in the middle, the song goes off-pitch. I have to say, though, probably best performance to date.

Richie and I (and probably most of the American Idol audience) having been waiting for Crystal Bowersox to sing "Bobby McGee" since she first appeared on the show. She looked positively resplendent last night. She was wearing a dress and had her hair up, but it was all totally in character. And when I say character, I'm not saying that Crystal is playing a character. I'm saying that she still stayed true to herself. Do I even need to tell y'all how amazing her performance was? I was positively mesmerized. It reminded me of Janis Joplin's song, only Crystal's voice isn't as gritty, which gives the song an entirely new dimension. Richie's critique: She had that song by the throat and smacked the stink out of it!" I really just can't do better than that, folks.

I loved it when Ryan and Crystal sat down on the couch. He's just so funny and adorable. Can I have a mini-Ryan? I would like to put him on my new built-in bookshelves along side my miniature Tim Gunn and my miniature Christian Siriano. Tim would give me sound fashion advice and work with me on my vocabulary, Christian would build up my ego by tell me that I was fierce. We would look at magazines and watch television together, snarking all the while. Ryan would keep me up on the latest music, and we'd give Simon a hard time together. I think they'd be fun to travel with--I have the perfect purse to put them in.

So what if Michael Lynche's version of the Percy Sledge song "When A Man Loves A Woman" was a little old-fashioned? I have a hard time disliking anything that Michael does on stage. He is just smooth. His voice is smooth, his style is smooth, his performance is smooth. He has an absolutely amazing voice.

"I Heard It Through The Grapevine" by Marvin Gaye could have been a great choice for Andrew Garcia. If he had played it acoustically and had no background music except he and Ricky Minor jamming it out onstage. There could have been some great moments on that stage. I would have lost the background singers, too. But as it was, there was no magic on that stage. Andrew is struggling, and I could have strangled Kara for bringing up that Paula Abdul song again. Andrew needs to log on to What Not To Sing, the comprehensive American Idol encyclopedia that was created specifically to help struggling contestants with song choice. You could lose hours on there, not that I would know anything about that.

The judges have been waiting for Katie Stevens to sing a song like Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry". The song was more current than her previous choices, even if it still wasn't as uptempo as I'd like. At least the chorus was upbeat. She was a little sharp in places, and straining, pushing her voice a bit too much. She's getting better, though.

Of all the songs in the 100-year history of the Billboard Charts, Casey James chose Huey Lewis? I would have liked it better--I guess--if it didn't have the horns. I didn't get these choices or the arrangements with all the horns last night. Was there a sale on brass musicians in Hollywood? "Power of Love" is just such a cheesy song, and while Casey is a good singer and performer, this was completely uninspired. I have to give him points for sticking to his genre, that country-rock-blues thing he loves so much, but certainly there was a better song out there for Casey to sing.

I did not agree with the judges that DiDi Benami did a terrible job with Linda Ronstadt's "You're No Good". Was it the best vocal of the night? No. Is she going to win American Idol? No. But it is nice to see a contestant really have fun with a song. I think she's improving each week, and that making the transition to the Kodak Theatre was the best thing for her.

Closing out the show was Siobhan Magnus, who sang Stevie Wonder's "Superstition". Before the commercial break, Richie and I were debating whether she was going to sing Stevie Wonder or Stevie Nicks--because Ryan only told us "Stevie", thanks, Ryan for leaving us hanging like that--and I literally stopped mid-sentence and said, "Oh my gosh, look at her hair!" Which I guess the desired effect when you have hair and makeup coif you into a faux-hawk. Oh, Siobhan. I know you're a strange duck and all, and that's awesome, but you're about Sanjaya levels of gimmickry. Speaking of gimmicks, Richie and I are a little tired of the scream. Yeah, it was awesome once or twice, but now it's time to cut it down, because screaming is not what should set you apart from the other contestants. It should be your talent. When she sings, I'm stuck dumbfounded. I'm just like, "whoa". Like I've certainly turned into Keanu Reeves from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. She's that good. But yeah, just like Simon said, it's time to pull back from it a little bit. save it for when it counts. Also, don't wear doilies on your shirt and call them sleeves. Just saying. But yeah, great way to close us out last night.

Overall, I just wasn't impressed last night. I felt that the song choice, save two or three selections, was seriously lacking, as well as is charisma. We've got a weak group this year, and those that are good are miles above the rest. Miley wasn't that much of a mentor, because "they were already good", but for every singer there is always room for improvement. Her appearance mostly just felt like a promo for her new movie, "The Last Song".

Bottom Three: Paige Miles, Tim Urban, and DiDi Benami

Top Three: Crystal Bowersox, Siobhan Magnus, and Ricky Minor, who played every stringed instrument known to man while jamming on one little corner of the stage, practically stealing the spotlight from the contestants.

Tonight--results and Miley performs. Also performing? Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas. Um, are you sure we didn't just have Disney night or Teen Sensation night? Did Disney just buy out Fox and I wasn't made aware? Someone needs to keep me up on these things.

Toodles!

American Idol Season 9, Episode 23: Top 12, Results

Normally, I find the opening segments of American Idol overwrought and corny. But last night, it was so extremely overwrought, corny, and chock-full of cheese that I had to love it. They began by showing the contestant's various roads to the Top 12 while the Everly Brothers song "All I Have To Do Is Dream" played in the background. Then, they went immediately to a recap of Tuesday night's performances underscored by music from Clash of the Titans or something similar.

This is American Idol!

Ryan, who inexplicably was not wearing a green tie, nor a green pin, nor green socks that I could see on St. Patrick's Day, had Simon explain "the judges' save". The judges can save any contestant that has been eliminated up until the Top 5, but it must be unanimous and can only be used once in the competition. I have mixed feelings about this particular producer ploy. On the one hand, it can keep a shocker elimination from happening, a la Jennifer Hudson, but it can also keep obvious plants (Oh, don't you think for a MINUTE those producers aren't out there actively searching for professionals without national exposure. Carly Smithson ring a bell? As much as I loved her, she was a pro. I used to have a Pandora station dedicated to her back in Season 5, when she was Carly Hennessey.) in the competition.

David Cook performed, and I am still happy that he won Season 7. He was a bit of an odd cookie, but he turned in solid performances week after week and didn't allow his personal life to be dragged into the competition. That said, I liked hearing him sing "Jumpin' Jack Flash", but that is not a song that translates well in 2010. Does anyone even say 'it's a gas" anymore to describe something fun or laughable?

Is it April 13 yet? Cause I can't wait for the Glee kids to sing The Beatles. And for Will and Emma to sing sappy love songs to each other. Actually, I'm some kind of ready for Glee, period. I've missed those crazy kids!

Our first pimpmercial of the season finds the Top 12 (well, minus a flu-ridden Casey) riding around in Ford Fiestas throwing paintballs at each other while wearing white outfits, singing something called "Tick Tick Boom". I miss the old days when the commercials weren't so slick. Also, I want that Sunflower car that Bowersox created. Even if it is a Ford Fiesta. I love sunflowers.

I was not entirely sure that Orianthi wasn't just Avril Lavigne trying out a new persona until she began talking to Ryan, and then I realized that she was the guitarist for Michael Jackson in This Is It. No, she definitely not Avril Lavigne. My bad. Also, can I have a wind machine so that my hair blows like that all the time? I would probably just look like I was stuck in a cyclone or something, though.

The bottom three were collected: Paige Miles, Tim Urban, and Lacey Brown. I totally called this. Well, actually, I said that the bottom three were going to be Tim, Lacey, and Andrew, but I wanted to write Paige/Andrew because I just couldn't decide. Whatever. Unfortunately, Tim was sent back to the couch and we will have to endure him and his painful warbling for another week.

Was Ke$ha's performance a joke? I mean, was she for real? Was she drunk or making a satired commentary on bar culture with that performance? Is she an actual artist or a Lady Gaga tribute artist? I...I...I...I'm still not quite sure what to make of what she did on that stage last night. Speechless.

And finally, Lacey Brown was eliminated and was not saved by the judges. She's from Texas, but so is Casey, and I knew that once they went head to head, Lacey would not be able to stand up to Casey's fan base.

Next week, the Top 11 sing songs from "Teen Idols". OOH. Lord, please let someone sing a New Kids on the Block song. It would, like, make my week. Totally.

Toodles!

American Idol Season 9, Episode 22: Top 12, Performances

Here we are folks, at the final countdown. Now is when the competition really begins.

You like that I took that life or death approach, didn't you? I'm like an armchair Seacrest or something.

When the lights came up, and all the contestants were lined up like mannequins, it looked more like Ryan Seacrest was touring the American Idol exhibit at a wax museum than introducing the show.

Last night, we finally made it back to the Kodak Theatre, which will be our home for the next twelve weeks. Randy Jackson, Ellen Degeneres, Kara DioGuardi, Simon Cowell, and Ryan were all announced by some random voiceover artist as they walked onto the stage, like we were watching a trailer for American Idol: The Movie. They've definitely come a long way since Season 1, haven't they? Oh, and they were all in varying shades of gray. How cute was that? Well, Randy was in more of a light blue, but it could go in the same color wheel, so we'll allow it.

The American Idol screens open...and the mannequins are alive! Run for your lives! Oh, wait, no. It's actually the contestants, with Katie Stevens leading the pack. False alarm. The separation of the sexes is finally over! All the kids were in the pool last night, and singing the songs of The Rolling Stones.

Though I am definitely more of a Beatles fan (Have you played Beatles Rockband yet? I'm a five-star player, just in case you were wondering), I just cannot deny the power of that opening riff in "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" as Ryan spoke about The Rolling Stones' influence on popular music. It is so powerful and iconic. You know it immediately and it makes your heart race.

Ladies and Gentlemen, THIS is American Idol!

Have you noticed how the producers love to put Michael Lynche either first or last? He's the producers' go-to man for opening and closing the show, because they know he's a crowd-pleaser. And you know what? They are totally right to do this, because Michael Lynche singing "Miss You" and working that stage is exactly what was needed to open this show on the right note. He opened the song with the falsetto that I love, and then dove right in to the deep, bluesy notes. I wasn't crazy about the slightly outdated arrangement, but Mike overcame that with an excellent vocal and a great performance.

How much did you all love the little altercation between Ryan and Simon? I know that I did, in big bunches and heaps. It's always so funny to see them spar, because they are so obviously friends and love ribbing each other. It does prove what we've known all long, though, that Ryan is absolutely the contestants' advocate, mouthing off to the judges where they can't, so they can still be likable and get those much needed votes.

DiDi Benami was the second performance of the night, singing "Play With Fire". This was a very different kind of performance from her and I liked it. It was sultry and strong. Dare I say it? Sexy, even. My favorite performance of hers to date. She really connected with the song. I felt like she really felt it. For the first time, she didn't sound like a copycat singer. She sounded like herself. Also for the first time in 5 weeks, she didn't cry onstage. Score!

Casey James was up next, and sang "It's All Over Now". Wow, were we ever on a roll last night! The first three performances were totally on target. Maybe it's this group, maybe it's this theme, but they are totally on fire. Casey smartly chose a song with a blues-country feel and used it completely to his advantage, which is what you have to do in this competition. Again, when Ellen brought up his looks, he still looked incredibly embarrassed. He genuinely seems to be a nice, humble guy who is also very talented.

Why did Lacey Brown choose to open "Ruby Tuesday" with a string quartet while wearing castoffs from Pat Benatar's "Love Is A Battlefield" video? None of it looked or sounded right. The entire song was almost completely unrecognizable until the very end of the song. If this performance had a "dislike" button, I would have totally chosen it.

Was the sound messed up during Andrew Garcia's performance? The mic sounded strange and I could barely hear the music while he sang "Gimme Shelter". Though this was better than last week, I still think Andrew is struggling, trying to battling his way back from the mind games of the judges. He needed to work on his stage presence, too, instead of doing that nervous pace in front of the judges. He divided the judges, and I can understand why. Continue to improve, Andrew! You need to stay in the competition! It's all about the redemption arc. See Season 4: Bo Bice for reference.

Katie Stevens sang "Wild Horses" in a super-cute dress. I loved that print. A day later, and I'm still thinking about it. So, I also kind of love this song, because it's what Buffy and Angel danced to at the prom in Season Three of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It's forever ingrained in my mind as a beautiful, haunting, romantic song. And of course, Buffy and Angel just pull at my heartstrings anyway. Have any of you been reading the Season 8 comics that Joss has been putting out? Angel back, and it's STILL heart-wrenching. *SIGH* Oh, wait, we were talking about a song, weren't we? Yes! Katie Stevens' performance! She was back-lit and very pretty, and I was not even a little surprised by her song choice. Once again, she chose a slow song. I believe she's afraid of uptempo music, but I would love to hear her take a stab at it. The beginning was a bit off-key, but she recovered by the end.

Why did Tim Urban sing "Under My Thumb" as re-imagined by Jason Mraz? Not that I don't like Jason Mraz; I really do. I don't even think he would have arranged the song that way, though. This is such a raw song, and Tim sang it like he was entertaining us at a clambake. I half expected Annette Funnicello to come running by in her bikini. This is a song about a guy tipping the power scales in his relationship and taking it to the extreme, but Tim makes it sound light and airy. I understand about making a song your own, but you need to preserve the integrity of the song!

Our resident odd duck of the competition, Siobhan Magnus, could not have chosen a more perfect song to sing this week, "Paint It Black". What started off as a tribute to Edith Piaf, sitting on those red steps in her black dress (the boots were a mistake, though. I would chosen booties, but who am I?) ended as a powerful song full of primal rage. She is very striking, isn't she? She has definitely grown on me, and I like her more and more each week, even if she does frighten me a bit. She is quite an impressive vocalist, and I do hope she takes care of her voice, because if she screams every week, she's going to lose her voice. So the little odd duck is very brave, and also has a good sense of humor about herself.

Lee Dewyze sang an arrangement of "Beast of Burden" that was his own, but honored the original. I'm still singing it a day later. Richie said it was very Dave Matthews, and Randy agreed. It's always nice when the judges agree with you, isn't it? If he were to make a CD, this song should totally be on it. (Lee, not Dave Matthews. Although, I wouldn't oppose a Dave Matthews remake.) My only problem with his performance is that he was so nervous. I want someone to give him a huge shot of confidence, so he can explode onstage and have that "moment" Simon has been going on about.

Paige Miles has amazingly beautiful eyes, doesn't she? I wasn't expecting her to choose "Honky-Tonk Woman", but I wasn't disappointed. She never chooses what I think she's going to choose. I felt like I was hearing her voice for the first time, and it is quite an instrument. She had a couple of pitch issues, and she needed to work the stage a little more, but overall it was a good performance.

Aaron Kelly was next, and he chose "Angie". What I loved about this performance is that the entire performance was goat-free, and allowed us to actually hear his voice, which is nice, because he kept it soft and low. He and Tim Urban need to form their own boy band. Call themselves Idyll or something like that. They should ask Kevin Covais and Sanjaya to join! They might get their own show on Nickelodeon. Aaron's performance was a little too low-key for my taste, but I didn't hate it. Although I did hate his hair. Why push it all forward like that guy from Ghost Adventures? I half expected him to start screaming at paranormal entities when the song was finished.

Crystal Bowersox closed the show with "You Can't Always Get What You Want". Richie saw the peacock feather right away, and wondered if it was a tribute to Lilly Scott. She confirmed it in her interview with Ryan afer she sang. I loved her gorgeous, effortless voice and that bluesy rendition of the song. The judges didn't think it was her best performance, but I think she gets better all the time. I was hoping that someone good would sing this song, and lo and behold if my prayers weren't answered. I guess I can always get what I want, no matter what The Stones tell me. Her arrangement was really fresh, and I never get tired of her performances. I absolutely can't wait for the next performance.

I was really worried about how well last night's performances would turn out, because it's never easy to sing songs that were written for a band when you're a solo artist, but overall, I was really pleased with the results. It was a night of good, solid performances, and a couple of moment makers. It actually makes me look forward to next week just to see what they'll do.

Josie's Bottom Three: Lacey Brown, Tim Urban, Andrew Garcia

Results Wednesday night.

Toodles!