Tuesday, March 06, 2007

AI: Top 16 (Guys), 03/06/2007

Ryan tells us that there are eight guys left, but only six will go to the Top 12. Well, thanks, Captain Obvious. We knew that already, because this IS American Idol.

The theme is “share something stupid about yourself”, I mean, “tell us something that we don't know”.

Blake Lewis tells us that we don't' know that he does improvisational comedy and creates his own characters. Well, I think I could have guessed that, given Blake's flair for the dramatic, so to speak. He opens up “All Mixed Up” by 311, which I think I remember liking back when I was a cashier at Winn-Dixie back in 1996. He mixes the beatbox up all through the song, which isn't really an improvement on the song, but not a distraction, either. The performance is classic Blake, and why should we care? He's a lock for the Top 12, and the judges make sure of it by giving him a complete tongue bath. Wipe that drool off your chin, Simon.

Sanjaya's secret is that he's in love with his sister, and thinks that she should be the one on American Idol. I kid, I kid. His big secret is that he can hula. Yeah, no surprise there. Kid's probably had years and years of professional dance lessons. He's got his hair all blown out tonight (I wonder what kind of shine serum and flat iron the hairdresser uses?) and mauling “Waiting For The World To Change”, a song that I've never heard before, but already hate because he's singing it completely off key and even more boring that I thought possible. Remember to quadruple call for everyone else tonight!

Sundance says that he's actually thin, and only wears a fat suit for the show. Dude, you're funny, but you're no Chris Sligh. OH. EM. GEE. Y'all-- he's totally singing a Pearl Jam song on American Idol. This is a day I never thought I'd see. Eddie Vedder must be really hard up for some cash if he's going to let American Idol ruin his cred. Or else, he's got an upcoming album he wants to promote. Yeah, no one will ever sing “Jeremy” with as much venom as Eddie Vedder, but Sundance is doing pretty well for himself, and IT'S FREAKING PEARL JAM! Eleventy-million votes just for attempting Pearl Jam! Ooh—wouldn't Daughtry have sounded awesome on this song last year? Yes, readers, I KNOW it's not Season Five anymore, but a girl can dream, right? I have to agree with Randy: it was a little pitchy, but overall, I enjoyed it.

Chris Richardson goes urban? Isn't that his whole schtick to begin with? Oh, wait, I bet Seacrest really means 'Keith Urban'. My bad. Anyway, Chris's secret is that he used to be “chunky” and played football in college. Yeah, I liked you better back then, Timberfake. I just don't like skinny boys. Oh, that's right, he's got to sing. TIFFANY V! He's singing Ace's song from country week! “Tonight, I Wanna Cry”. Them's fighting words! Too bad he's really good and I just can't hate him for it. I have to agree with the judges—he's very adaptable, and does show his versatility.

Jared's singing Stevie Wonder? Dear Lord, man! Don't you know that this is the LAST WEEK of semifinals, and you BETTER pull out something amazing? You must really want to lose your spot to Backup Brandon. Jared's secret is that he played college basketball, Division II. Gosh, no big surprises tonight, are there? “If You Really Love Me” is the Stevie Wonder song du jour. Sorry, Jared, this performance belongs to Elliott. He owned this last season, and you're just not up to snuff.

Brandon tells us that we would be surprised to know that he is a classical piano player. Well, that's neither embarrassing or stupid. It's quite awesome, actually. I wish I could play piano. He pulls out the big guns by singing the ultra-funky “I Just Want to Celebrate”. I enjoyed last week, but this is leaps and bounds better, even if it is just a little pitchy towards the end. Overall, very strong and very good.

Good God Almighty! A Leann Rimes song? Are you trying to make me not vote for you? Do you hate me personally, Phil Stacy? You and your stupid hat are just standing over there mocking me, aren't you? And his big secret is that he is voluntarily bald. Big deal. Oh, and note to you, Mr. Baldy: Chris Daughtry is the Bald Guy on American Idol. Remember that, bucko. Oh, dear merciful heavens. It's “I Need You”, and I am dying. It's off pitch, even for a whiny Leann Rimes song. I might pass out it's so bad. I think you might be in danger, Bat Boy!

Chris Sligh tells us that he had short hair for most of his life, and that his curls are natural. He's singing “We All Want to Be Loved” and may be one of the two non-boring performances of the competition. I thought the vocal was strong, and do think that last week's performance of “Trouble” was much better.

Well, guys, you've really disappointed me again. You had one great week, and now I'm all “whatever” about you again. Bring on the girls!



Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who feels sympathy for Chris Sligh. For some reason, during the interview after he sang tonight (after Paula said she didnt like it..go figure) when he was askin how he could do better, I felt so sad for him. You can seriously tell he honestly wants to make himself better. I can sympathize with him. I cant explain but Im really pullin for him.

josiegirl77 said...

No, I totally feel the same way, like he was really looking for their approval and maybe taking this competition seriously. It's obvious that he wants to work and he wants to sing.

Anonymous said...

I agree that Sligh was the Man for this week. What happened to these boys. This week determines who goes to the top 12. This show is just not measuring up to last years.

I heard the end of something on the radio yesterday saying to stay tuned for more on AI and the scandel. Does anyone know what the scandel is?


josiegirl77 said...

The girl that works in our office said that apparently another one of the girls has pics on the internet. She didn't know which one, though.