Tuesday, February 06, 2007

AI Auditions: San Antonio, TX 02/06/07

Tonight's auditions are in San Antonio, Texas. We were originally scheduled to see the Los Angeles auditions, but The Powers That Be decided that we should have seen those on Wednesday, so here we are stuck with the Texas auditions. That's right, the Los Angeles auditions were supposed to be shown last. so don't believe it when Ryan tells you that San Antonio is the last stop on the audition tour. I mean, you don't believe everything this show tells you, do you? Come on, you're not that naive, right? RIGHT?

OH--before I forget--my Yahoo Messenger ID is josiegirl77, in case anyone wants to chat.

Y'all, I LOVE Paula's dress. I would look so awesome in that dress, if it were shorter, like cut right at the knee. Agree with me--you know I would, too! *sighs* Gah, I'm suffering from dresslust.

Also, there's no inconsequential guest judge tonight. Honestly, the best one we've had this season is Jewel, who had actual opinions, as opposed to Olivia Newton-John, who basically just looked on in Botox-induced shock. On with the show!

Going to Hollywood:

Haley Scarnato (I Can't Make You Love Me) was in a wedding band--ooh, so was Latoya London, and I loved her in Season Three. She's pretty, perky, and has a decent voice to boot. I admire her control. Of course, Simon and Randy have mentally undressed her three times since she walked in the door. I was very surprised when they waffled on sending her to Hollywood.

Bailey Brown (Stronger by Faith Hill) is totally making it--she's pretty, she's from a small town, and we've met her parents. Let's face it--we're freaking marrying Bailey Brown. I can't hate her, though--we share a love of fashion and magazines, and we're both city girls stuck in a small town. Her voice is actually quite nice and textured. I could listen to her sing more. I'm looking forward to the Top 24 with her; hopefully, she'll make some interesting song selections.

Akron Watson, aka Bruce Banner, (A Change Is Gonna Come) is actually good, which is surprising. I was expecting a double-whammy of bad from him and his cousin (see The Incredible Hulk). He's not great, though, and he does need to work on his presence.

Ashlyn Carr (Feeling Good) got beat up when she was younger because she was such a good singer. And she is good, but I find her a little nasally, and she makes this crazy face when she sings, like a horse reaching out to bite a carrot. I don' quite understand why they didn't give her a chance, and I was very happy when they changed their mind and decided to let her audition again. Upon her second audition (Inseparable), I didn't look at her--and loved her voice.

The final audition is Jimmy McNeal (Cupid), and he is very good, possibly the best male contestant of the night--and I agree with Simon, he is like Reuben. He's jovial and fun, and has lots of talent.

Going Home:
It's so obvious that Brian Kyrish (Rebel Yell) is going home. He's loud, singing Billy Idol exactly like Billy Idol (well, worse than Billy Idol, actually), and is the first one we've seen tonight. Yep! I am so right. Bye-bye, loud boy!

Oh my God--Camel Toe! Her name is Jasmine Holland, but from here on out, she is Camel Toe. Oh goodness. Camel Toe's voice hurts me--she sounds like a dying goat. I can't even tell you what she's singing. Oh, how I love it the sense of entitlement and I-know-everything-ness of the rejected ones and their familes.

William Green, aka The Incredible Hulk, (Amazing Grace), has a nice tone to his voice, but cannot carry a tune. Does that make sense? It does in my head. Y'all--someone please stop the misery! Make it stop! I do have to say that he's been a really good sport about it--and even confesses that he's going to front for the camera.

LaRisa Curry and Deborah Tyler were both laughably awful, but not as awful as Sandie Chavez (Black Velvet), who sang for the mayor of Houston, who is either deaf or extremely kind. She sounds like Kermit the Frog, had Kermit been drunk on tequila.

Jacob Tutor has NO TONE to his voice. It's just the same note over and over again. Oh, pain. Oh agony. Oh, brother. Is this over yet?

This is what Richie wants to know--who told these freak shows that they could sing? Not the ones that are obviously planted by radio stations, or there just to get on television, but the ones who are obviously living under the deranged idea that they are talented singers. Don't these people realize that they're hurting these poor people by encouraging their bad singing? For the love of the children--STOP THE MADNESS!

Final thoughts: San Antonio is my favorite audition city, and now I know why they held out on us with this set of auditions. 22 people made it. The most surprising surprise of the night? Me, actually agreeing with the reasons for sending contestants through. More auditions tomorrow--The Best of The Rest. Then we're off to Hollywood--FINALLY!



tiffany v. said...

I thought Ashlyn Carr sounded like Kermit the Frog. I do not think they should have let her through (and if you ask me it was just for sympathy.)

josiegirl77 said...

Ah, we have a difference of opinion. I actually kind of liked her when she was singing the Gladys Knight song. And you know, I wasn't looking at her. I don't think she'll make Top 24, though.

Millison said...

Love the comments and agreed 100% on all of them!! Can't wait till tonight! Have a good one! Look forward to seeing the auditions to night and the comments tomorrow!!

josiegirl77 said...

Aw, thank you so much! Yes, I'm actually interested to see who we missed during regular auditions. Hopefully I can find something clever to say....