Wednesday, February 07, 2007

AI Auditions: Best of The Rest (yeah, OK, it's really just more of the same!) 02/07/07

Well, I guess The Powers That Be at American Idol heard our cry for more good auditions, so they're throwing in this extra episode to appease us. Unfortunately, they're also throwing in more awful auditions, as well. What can you do? Stop watching? Unlikely.

Going to Hollywood:
Tami Gosnell (Whipping Post) is so smiley and happy. I'm in an awful mood, so I hate her immediately. But, she has a great voice. Like, really, a great original voice. Ack! She's got piercings in her lips! Pain! But seriously, the voice makes up for it. I could see myself liking her if she makes it to the Top 24 and I'm not hating all the perky people in the world.

Paul Kim (If Ever I Fall In Love) has a nice voice, but I don't like him, either. Its not cause he's perky or anything like that, its just something about his attitude, like maybe he's cocky. Gosh, y'all, I hope my bad mood doesn't continue to plague this recap. That won't be fun for any of us.

Gina Glockson (Black Velvet--really, is that the only song white bluesy girls know? Darn you, Kim Caldwell for starting this horrible trend!). Yeah she's still good, but not great. I am still bored with her.

Lakisha Jones (Think) was incredible. Were y'all thinking Mandisa 2.0? Cause I totally was.. But you know, I really really like her. Gosh, I do.

Going Home:
Christa Fazzino is in a happy mood, so she dresses like a hooker in mourning? When I'm in a happy mood, I don't normally dress my top half like I'm Jackie at JFK's funeral. Why do they want to assail my ears first thing? I always start out these shows with such high hopes, and they are dashed, like a glass hitting the floor. American Idol, you have broken my spirit!

John Odanovich...crap, y'all, this is just stupid. A real waste of time. I am so over these auditions. Why is it the same crap over and over again? I'm bored.

Edward Sanchez is another Paula stalker. So much that he has memorized her videos and dance moves. Creepy. Ugh. He should stick to dancing, because the singing is abysmal. And you know it's going to break Paula's heart to tell him no. The fake smile just says it all,. At least he's happy that he met her.

WES should really stick to songwriting--actually, scratch that. He should stick to composing. Lyrics (and singing them) aren't really his strong suit. And apparently, neither is dressing himself. Who wears a satin shirt anymore? You ain't Michael Jackson, circa 1971. Blech.

What is the Spanish kid's name? I didn't catch it. Anyway, he sang "Making Love Out of Nothing At All" really, really high. But he dances really well. He really should stick to that., even though it makes me really sad when the deluded ones cry.

Special Category for the Frisco Triplet Waitresses:
Of the Frisco Triplets, they auditioned in order of talent, with Ebony taking the cake. I knew they wouldn't send the first girl through (I'm too tired to learn her name, or even look it up.) but I was surprised about the second girl (again with the me being tired), but Ebony making it was written in the stars, people. She's got the Lisa Tucker Eyebrows of Justice.,

THANK THE LORD IN HEAVEN! Auditions are over! Now we can get to Hollywood, and watch the contestants claw each other's eyes out. YES!


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