It was the fellows turn tonight, and I think I was completely--to use a Michael Kors phrase from Project Runway--underwhelmed, with maybe one or two exceptions. If they wanted a guy to win this year, they may have shot themselves in the foot by picking one or two guy "stars" and many more girl "stars". So, good luck with that, guys. Yeah.
So first up is Gonzo the Great....I mean Patrick Hall, whom I've never heard sing before but I already don't like his attitude, so that's strike one for me. Strikes two and three came when he attempted to sing and dance, which he can do neither well. He's singing "Come To My Window" by Melissa Etheridge, and I can't help but keep thinking how creepy this guy is. Plus, who dances to Melissa Etheridge? Certainly no self-respecting guy.
The bad continues when the horrible David Radford comes up, who thinks (erroneously) that he's the second coming of Harry Connick, Jr. Dude, Harry Connick, Jr. is on the hottie tree. You would *never* make the hottie tree. He's singing a Queen song, "Crazy Little Thing Called Love", and all I can think is a) this is abysmal, and b) Fantasia did this so much better in Season Three. His clothes are ill-fitting and I keep fantasizing that he will fall off the stage. But then, he might be seen as sympathetic, and I DON'T want him back next week.
Third is Bucky Covington, who sings "Simple Man" by Lynrd Skynrd. (I'm so sure I spelled that incorrectly.) He's one of those guys who looks like he never bathes, although I'm sure the opposite is true. But he does a pretty good job with the song, so I won't pick on him too much, except to say that his mom is creepy because she was wearing a too-tight t-shirt that said "We *heart* Bucky", and her hair was in the stratosphere.
Cute little Fred Savage, (I mean Will Makar) is up next, and I find myself thinking "jailbait! jailbait!" as he performs "I Want You Back" by The Jackson Five. He's so cute singing this song, it's so totally age-appropriate for him. He also has a very decent voice. I wrote his number down, and ended up voting for him like twice.
Ewwwww....it's Sway. Sway looks like a pimp, and when he starts to sing "Reasons" by Earth, Wind, and Fire, our collective ears begin to bleed so Richie mercifully changes the channel. We return as the Simon rips him a new one. Hee!
Finally! Chris Daughtry has arrived and completes the "triumvirate of awesomeness" with Mandisa and Paris. There you go--those are my picks for the final three! In fact, I'm going to go ahead and say that Chris will win this thing. Anyway--I squeal with delight when Chris announces that he will sing Bon Jovi's "Wanted Dead or Alive", and can hardly stay in my seat when he begins to sing. I mean, my heart was pounding and my insides began to quiver when the camera pulled in for a close-up at the end of the song. Oh, boy! I can't wait for his performances week in and week out! Wow!
I feel so sorry for little Kevin Corvais. Not only does he look like a deer in the headlights on a dark country road, but now he has to follow Chris. I mean, there were some commercials, but when we come back to Kevin, my heart is still pounding. I'm so proud of Kevin as he sings "One Last Cry" by Brian McKnight, and does a great job. But gosh, he looked scared! Also, he reminds me of Linus--all he needs is the blanket.
The Eyebrows That Ate America (a moniker that made Richie laugh out loud) is on now, and he's singing "Shout" by the Isley Brothers. Why would you pick a song popularized at weddings? Feels a little too showy for me, and I died laughing when he said during his introduction that he wasn't going to just "sing" the song, he was going to "perform" it. And boy, did he! I couldn't concentrate on his voice (which is actually very nice) for all his bouncing around the stage.
Elliott Yamin is the ninth singer to take the stage, and he really delivers on Stevie Wonder's "If You Really Love Me". I agreed with Randy and Paula when they said this his talent was just plain natural--he looked like he'd been doing this all his life. I write down his number because I don't want him left behind in favor of the "personalities".
And then there was Bobby Bennett, and is wrong that when I see him, I think of Gomez Addams? But like, way freakier than Gomez. My life is complete and decide that I can die happy when he begins to sing "Copacabana" by Barry Manilow. I continue to flail and laugh as he's interviewed by the judges, and the Barry worship is brought to new heights. The tears are literally running down my face, people. Black mascara everywhere. The real Gomez would be so proud.
We're finally inching towards the end of the show, and the guy I love to hate, Ace Young, is up. He's so smarmy and knows that he's good-looking and delights in making all the little girls scream. Then he announces that he's going to sing "Father Figure" by George Michael, and despite myself, I really liked his performance, and managing to have very dirty thoughts about him. However, Richie teases me relentlessly about Ace, so I don't say anything about my thoughts to my husband. But, still, great performance.
And now....Taylor Hicks! Taylor sings "Levon" by Elton John and Bernie Taupin, and I am transported to a magical place where there are flowers and hand-holding and goofy smiles. Truly, truly, Taylor Hicks closed us out tonight in grand fashion. I am so in awe of the awesomeness that is the awesome Taylor Hicks. Go, Gray, Go!
I voted for....
Chris Daughtry, Elliott Yamin, Taylor Hicks, and Will Makar.
They will be leaving us on Thursday....
Bobby Bennett and David Radford
Till next week....toodles!