I'm Just A Girl, Part Two

In my last post, I wrote about conservatism and feminism. Today, I'm going to talk about two opinions even more widely set-- feminism and being a born-again Christian. Traditionally, the Church has had staunch views on the roles of women. However, I believe that God loves women ('cause we all kw that God don't make no junk!), has a special purpose for women, and believes that women should be respected. Yes, Virginia, you can reconcile feminism and Christianity.

Today, women are not allowed leadership roles in the Baptist Church. I want us to take a look at Judges 4 and 5, and read about a woman named Deborah. Notice that there is no hooplah or fanfare about Deborah being appointed a judge. That's because, according to Mosaic Law, there was nothing prohibiting a woman from taking responsibilities ordinarily reserved for men. She was a prophetess, and was also married. People came from far and wide to have Deborah settle their disputes. Kinda reminds me of a less mouthy Judge Judy.

God gave Deborah a message for Barak to take an army to Mount Tabor, where God would deliver the Canaanites into his hands. This is what I find funny--Barak wouldn't go without Deborah. This in a culture where women weren't given any sort of consideration outside of childbearing. Hello! You have ten thousand men AND God on your side! Because of his fear, God had Deborah tell Barak that the victory would go to a woman.

God chose Deborah for her wisdom. We, as women, have wisdom gained from our past experiences that we can share. God called us to minister to others--not to gossip or catfight or tear one another down behind our backs. The world does that for us--Christian sisters need to build one another up.

In the New Testament, there's a change of attitude. I've been doing a lot of reading in the New Testament about women's role, and I'm very confused. Confused to a point to where I might have a problem with Paul. Not with God, mind you, but with Paul. Sometimes I feel like Paul is pressing his opinion onto the reader. For instance, you look at 1 Corinthians 7, where he tirades on marriage. Didn't God create marriage? Isn't is supposed to be an example of our relationship with God? We're often referred to as "the bride" and Jesus as "the bridegroom". Paul even admits that his thoughts against marriage are his own opinions.

How, then, am I supposed to know where Paul's opinion ends and God's Word begins? 1 Corinthians 11 and 1 Timothy 2, for example. Paul talks about a woman covering her head--Ok, I can chalk that one up to cultural custom of the time. However, he also goes on to say that woman is the glory of man. Funny, I thought I was created to glorify God. Certainly, I don't want to bring shame to my husband, but I don't think cutting my hair is going to do that. I also don't believe that God created me just so I could glorify a man. I have a brain, a heart, a voice that God gave me to use towards His glory.

What really confuses me, though, is 1 Timothy 2. Paul makes a lot of "I" statements, and I began to wonder again if this passage is another case of Paul stating his opinion. Paul says:
"I want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes..."
"I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent...But women will be save through childbearing..."

What am I supposed to think about this? That my salvation at age 17 meant nothing until I gave birth to Cathryn at age 25? That I'm not supposed to style my hair? That I should throw out my wedding rings? That I should wear a sack from my chin to my fingers to my toes? I don't think that I'm dishonoring God by looking nice. Didn't 1 Samuel 16:7 teach us that God doesn't look at the outward appearance, but at the heart?

I understand that God created Adam first, and that Eve was created as a helper for him. Like I said before, I don't want to hinder my husband. However, I don't think that it makes women second-class citizens. I have every right to a successful life that honors God.

In Luke 8:3, it clearly says that Mary Magdalene, Joanna (the wife of the manager of Herod's household)and Susanna among others were helping to support Jesus out of their own means. They were supporting Jesus' ministry financially! If that's not indepence, well, I'm just stumped.

Jesus' message while He was here on earth was simple: God loves you, and He wants you to love Him and one another. He came to die for men, women, and children. He did not make distinctions between the sexes.

So how do you reconcile feminism with Christianity? I believe you do it by knowing that God created you with a purpose, and that you are beautifully and wonderfully made. He gave us gifts and talents for us to use to glorify His name. The Bible is full of stories of women who lived their lives to honor God, not man.

Most importantly, God sent His Son to die for each of us.

"I'm Just A Girl"

It hit me last night as I was going to bed. Is there really such a thing as a conservative feminist? As long as we're thinking along those lines, is it possible to be a Christian and a feminist at the same time? And what do any of those titles mean, anyway? Being the responsible book nerd that I am, I went straight to the dictionary. Conservative has eleven definitions. ELEVEN. Although I knew I could strike off #11 immediately--a preservative. When you come to think of it, though, that's what conservatives are--they want to preserve their way of life. Not big welcomers of change.

All these years, I considered myself conservative. Aren't Christians automatically card-carrying Republicans? I'm without a doubt, a pro-lifer. Why abort when there are so many childless parents desperate to adopt? I believe in a "traditional" idea of family, with a father and a mother, but am I supposed to look down my nose at the woman who's left her abusive husband? It also doesn't mean that I think God doesn't love those people who don't live in a "traditional" family. It seems to me that there are just too many gray areas. Besides, I like change. I like the idea of constantly moving forward. Do we really want to live the way they lived in the first century? Remember, there was no running water or electricity then. I'll take modern convenience, thankyouverymuch.

I'm getting off track here. The dictionary told me that feminism is the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes. Well, that is certainly a theory to which I subscribe. I certainly believe that women should have the same rights as men, and that we should be paid the same wage as a man for doing the same type of work. Women gave their lives in the early twentieth century just to give me the right to choose to vote, or go to work, or stay at home. Am I a bra-burner? A man-hater? By no means. I just want my voice to be heard as loud as a man's, especially about issues that concern me. I want my thoughts and ideas to be taken seriously. I don't want to be looked down upon just because I'm female.

Maybe I should supply a little backstory here. My sister and I grew up in a hyper-conservative home, born to a stay-at-home mother who also had been raised by a stay-at-home mother. Our father's mother was a stay-at-home mother. (Before I go any further, I want to say that I do not have an agenda against stay-at-home moms. I have a lot of respect for that choice, because I know that it's hard work.) It was impressed upon us at a very young age that this is the life we should strive to have as adult women. We weren't pushed about schoolwork and grades because, according to our family beliefs, the ultimate goal was to become a wife and mother. Any talk of dreams about "when I grow up" were met with scoffing, smirking, and exchanged looks that said "until she meets the right boy". I remember my grandparents laughing at me when I first told them I wanted to be a singer. It's a pain that won't go away.

Naturally, the way we chose to rebel against our parents was to become feminists. We poured our brains into our schoolwork. We argued with our parents about going to college (we wanted to go--our dad loudly proclaimed that it was a "money racket") and having lives that we could call our own. My sister got piercings, tattoos, and swore off marriage. (I was too much of a romantic.) We talked to each other about our dreams, secure in the knowledge that there really was only one other person in your house who understood how you were feeling.

Fifteen years later, we're both adults, and we're also both married. Because I'm not a buttinsky, I can't speak for her marriage, but I can speak for mine. Richie considers me an equal. We discuss family issues together. We raise our children together. We take turns grocery shopping (he's so much better at it than me!) and we clean the house together. He respects my love for God and my desire to be in His house. He respects my need for an identity beyond Mrs. Richie Thames, though it is a title that I'm proud to wear. It's something I feel very strongly about--I don't believe that a woman stops being herself because she got married. Being a wife just adds another dimension to the wonderful, beautiful creation that God designed.

Of course, the subject falls to children. How does a family who believes in Jesus Christ AND equality for the sexes raise a teenage boy and a schoolage girl in this age of Paris Hilton and Disney Princesses? I can say that Richie has done an excellent job teaching Trey to respect women, and I've seen that reflected in the relationships he's had with girls. But me, I feel partially at fault, being a woman like myself. I struggle with the thought that I'm setting the women's movement back by enjoying clothes and cosmetics? By burning Peggy Lee's "I Enjoy Being A Girl" to CD? I buy clothes for Cathryn that say "Princess". Her room looks like the Hannah Montana empire threw up inside it, everything is so pink and sparkly. Can Cathryn love girly things while still believing that she has just as much right to a life, an education, a choice as her male classmates?

By God, I"m going to try.

In conclusion, I've decided that you can't really be a conservative and a feminist. You can, however, be a Christian.

In the next post, I'll look at feminism from a biblical perspective.