Monday, May 05, 2008


I've been talking about focus lately, and I'm not surprised that the blog has lost focus. Because, honestly, I've found my life lacking in focus. Well, that's not entirely true. I have incredible focus in knowing that God has called me to be Richie's wife, and Trey and Cathryn's mother, as well as being the children's choir director. But I have been very confused lately. Who am I, exactly? Who is this woman that I'm becoming, now that I've left the days of television addiction behind me? You'd think that, as I near age thirty-one, I'd have that figured out by now.

I need to blog about the things I'm most passionate about--I already do that with Richie and the kids, but maybe I need to write more in depth about the children's choir, and eventually about my journey learning to read music and learning to sew.

Also, I can't explain this strange pull of domesticity that I've felt lately. Certainly, I can contribute this desire to learn how to sew to my love of clothes and my discovery of Project Runway in the last couple of years. But this sudden compulsion to clean, reorganize, and redecorate? Or this feeling that I want to landscape our yard, even though I kill everything I touch? Those are urges that can't be sown by an addictive reality show--and neither can the surprising jealousy I feel towards women whose homes are both showcases AND places where their families can live comfortably.

I guess I'll figure this all out eventually.


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