Ryan tells us, as the show opens, that the Final Three will have to battle to win a spot in the finale. You know what would be great? If they actually had to literally fight for a spot in the finale. I bet Blakes like to pull hair.
So well all know the rules of Final Three night, correct? For the newcomers to our favorite cheesy show, I shall summarize for you. On Final Three night, the contestants sing three songs each: One chosen by the judges, one chosen by the producers, and one chosen by the contestants themselves.
The first round? Playing Favorites, OR Judge's Choice.
Jordin goes back to Glendale, AZ and gets a fax from Simon, stating that he had chosen the song “Wishing on a Star” by Rose Royce. This is one of those songs you don't know you know until you hear it and then you realize you've heard it half a million times and know all the words and actually love to sing this song at the top of your lungs. Well, maybe that's just me. I think Simon always picks the best songs for his contestants. I don't like how Jordin looks in this first song. The hair is kinky, and the dress looks like something En Vogue worr back in the day. But the song and the performance? Perfect.
Blake's fax goes to Bothell, WA, where he is told that Paula has chosen “Roxanne” by The Police. It's good, this rendition, but it feels like I'm listening to The Police and that's not the point. Maybe I'm just tired of Blake--BECAUSE YOU DO NOT BEATBOX TO “ROXANNE”, The Police are in the Hall of Fame--and this season of this show. I need a nap.
Out in Brentwood, TN, Melinda meets up with the governor who gives her the fax from Randy. Whitney Houston's “I Believe in You and Me” is the song he's chosen, going against all he believes in, since he doesn't think anyone should attempt Whitney Houston. Did she call him Randy Johnson? Awesomer than awesome, dudes. I'm happy to hear her sing Whitney, because it's at least in the last half of this century and can be called modern. Plus, we all know she'll do a great job with Whitney. Very controlled and easily the best of this set.
The second round? Producer's choice OR, Clive Davis was too embarrassed to appear after Katharine McPhee totally called him out last year over song choice.
Before Jordin sings, some chick from North Carolina asks her what her favorite song is. OMG, Tiffany! Did you hear that? She loves Hanson! She's like your clone! Seriously! She looks like you, and likes Hanson. Creepy! The producers choice is very surprising--Donna Summer's “She Works Hard For the Money.” And though it was surprising, Jordin takes the song out back and gives it the what-for, and shows it who's the boss. I'll tell you one thing—that song is not the boss of Jordin. As Randy would say, she's in it to win it. It's nice to hear her sing something that's not a ballad. Her personal best, maybe.
The song that the producers have chosen for Blake? Come on, let's say it together, we all know it's coming--Maroon 5's “This Love”. It was only a matter a time, wasn't it, before we were subjected to this? I was getting Cathryn out of the tub, so I kinda missed this. I think it sounded like a Maroon 5 song. Big whoop. He's like the Rich Little of American Idol, Richie says. He can impersonate singers, but he can't sing in his own voice. Chris might have been nasal, but at least we know his real voice.
Along the lines of artists that we were totally expecting to hear, the producers chose “Nutbush City Limits” by Ike and Tina Turner for Melinda. I have to give her credit, though—this is a great performance, like she'd been waiting to bust this one out. I like hearing her “power” voice. It's quite a change from Mousy Melinda.
The Third Round? Self-Indulgence, OR Contestant's Choice.
Jordin pulls out the wonderful “I Who Have Nothing” by Shirley Bassey from British Invasion night. This dress is the most beautiful thing she's worn all night, and this is by far my favorite song that she sings. It's passionate, and you can tell she loves singing it.
What song is this? I don't like it. It bugs me. Actually , Blake bugs me. I shall beatbox instead of an actual critique. BLHHDUHDHJDJDHF. Wickky wiccky wickedy-wak.
Melinda chooses the wonderfully spunky “I'm A Woman”, which she sang way back when we were concerned Antonella Barba might make it to the Finals. I loved it then—before the modesty got old. Maybe she'll bring a little more 'tude this time. Yes! Answered. I think Melinda is having a very good night.
Going home? Please let it be Blake.