AI: Top 24, 02/20/07

Here we are, at the first show of the Top 24. We might get to see some singing in between the childish antics of Paula Abdul and all the Coke and Ford commercials. I see that Seacrest has done away with the scruff of last season, and comes into Season 6 thinner, tanner, and cleaner, even if he does look like he rolled off the "Saturday Night Fever" side of the bed, as Richie noted tonight. As required in Ryan's contract, he makes small talk with the judges, and apparently Randy is meaner, Paula is wearing some crazy ruffled, polka-dotted shirt, and Simon is still in love with himself and his achievements. It kind of feels like the first day of school, and the teacher asks "What did you do on your summer vacation?"

Why is Rudy Cardenas wearing a bulls-eye on his shirt? Is he inviting criticism, or is Target a sponsor this year? If not, they should be paying him for the advertising. And I don't think I've ever heard Bad Company's awesome "Free Ride" sung as a show tune, complete with cheesy Off-Off-Broadway choreography. Wow, Rudy. Let's START THE SEASON with me needing brain bleach, GEEZ. I love how Simon just completely brushes off anything that Paula says to him. I don't know--Rudy kind of looks like the love child of Clay Aiken and a rat, what do y'all think?

We've found this year's Constantine in Brandon Rogers, what with giving the camera bedroom eyes and the shy smiles and all. Why he didn't start off the show? It was energetic and fun, and much better than Cardenas. I totally don't get Randy and Paula's assessment that he was pitchy. Now, I do agree with Simon that it was predictable and safe. But he's getting my vote just because he sang "Rock With You", my second favorite Michael Jackson song, and I want to see if he's going to try to make it to third base with the cameraman.

Sundance Head is back with his undershirt of hair. Would it hurt you to wear an actual undershirt? Or to button up that shirt just one more button? PLEASE? Oh, wow, has anyone sang Moody Blues before? As much as I disliked him in Hollywood last week, and didn't get to see his audition, the Head is getting my vote, because "Nights In White Satin" is like the GREATEST SONG EVER. I am just totally not grooving with the judges tonight. Am I on crack or something, and just not hearing what they're hearing? I thought he was really good. Not great, but still good.

I think it's safe to assume that Paul Kim is not only barefoot but will be wearing the same underwear all week, EWWW. On top of all that, he has desecrated the sacred Wham! song, "Careless Whisper", crucifying the falsetto note and all our ears. I'm sorry, Paul Kim, but Ace young could rock a falsetto like no one else, and you sir, are no Ace Young. (Holler back, Tiffany V!)

The judges may be making Justin Timberlake comparisons, but I think Chris Richardson has got an Elliott complex. His audition was the Donnie Hayes song that Elliot sang in his audition (you know, the one about 'bad rhymes' or something?), and tonight he sang the Gavin Degraw ("I Don't Wanna Be") song that Elliott completely owned last year. But, you know, I have to give it to the little punk kid, the performance was good. Honestly, we needed an upbeat song, and looking back at the performances at the end of the night, I think his was one of the more enjoyable.

VOTE FOR PEDRO! Come on, y'all know y'all were already making that joke in your heads. I just wrote it out for you. ZZZZZZZZZZZ....I'm sorry, what's happening? Oh, is Nick Pedro STILL singing? And it's some song I've heard, but can't place, but you've heard it in every elevator and doctor's office across the land. Although, he does have a nice falsetto. But still, NO ACE.

(Hahaha--who knew that I'd be comparing this year's contestants to Ace? Because Chris Daughtry HAS NO EQUAL.)

Blake Lewis is the first of the SUPERGROUP to perform. I'm happy to hear him halfway renounce the beat-boxing, because while novel, this is ultimately a singing competition. Oh, what IS that song? I know it, and I like it. I just can't remember it. He's really good. Easily, so far, the best of the night. Ah, Keane. I've seen it on VH1. That kid kind of freaks me out. Not Blake Lewis, the Keane guy.

Does anyone else get a weird Donny Osmond vibe from Sanjaya Malakar? And Paula is the Marie half, with her crazy ruffles. Oh, Sanjaya, you DO bore me, with your AM Radio song that you let your sister pick out for you. Dude, that's sabotage! And all I've heard from this kid is Stevie Wonder, and honestly, haven't we heard enough of his songs slaughtered on this show?

Second in command of the SUPERGROUP was Chris Sligh, and he's singing another song I know but can't place it. This is so frustrating! But you rock it, you Greenvillian, you! WOOOOO! And y'all, he is good, I'm not just rooting for him because he's from SC, and lives near MELISSA GUION! I enjoyed it, although I do agree that it wasn't his best performance. I'm voting for you, boy! Step it up! Did y'all see how he completely ticked Simon off by mentioning Il Divo and the Teletubbies? I don't know if that was a smart move, dude....

Jared Cotter is singing "Back At One" by Brian McKnight, and it sounds exactly like a Brian McKnight song. I mean,he's good, but this song is overdone. Well, actually, Brian McKnight is overdone. A couple of bad notes, especially at the end. And I do agree with Simon--who are we going to be talking about tomorrow? Not Jared Cotter, that's for sure.

Is this another Michael Jackson song? I'll admit, though, I like AJ Tablado's voice, and the performance was good, although he went for something safe. Oh, what kills me is that he's got his collar turned up. Dude, I know that your mom isn't here to iron your shirts, but is it that much trouble to TURN DOWN YOUR COLLAR? Honestly, it's like people have no pride in themselves.

Y'all, I'm going to be honest--Phil Stacey (who was also in the SUPERGROUP with Thom Lowe--who got cut in the chair) kind of freaks me out. Richie says that he reminds him of Nosferatu, but I say he looks like some sort of rabid animal, like a bat mated with a raccoon or something. And just like the judges told him at the audition, he CANNOT open a song. I mean, sure, the middle and end of the song was great, but...sell me the song from beginning to end, or GO HOME.

Going home: Sanjaya Malakar and Nick Pedro

The girls are up tomorrow at 8. Hopefully, they will take a good long look at what happened tonight, and not bore us all to death. Get better, Season 6, get better!