05/16/2006 American Idol Performances

Final Three week is always the same: a song chosen by Clive Davis, A song chosen by the judges, and a song chosen by the contestants. Usually, this is the most interesting week because normally, one of the contestants has their shining moment, making them a lock for the Final Two. Of course, my thought is that Taylor locked himself into the Final Two last week with his performance of "In The Ghetto", but we shall see.

I was having a hard time deciding how I felt about this year's Final Three, so I composed a little ditty to best express my feelings:

The Final Three are singing tonight
And I don't care
Because TCO Daughtry isn't there
This sucks

As Ryan introduces the judges, my suspicions are confirmed that Paula strives each week to be more and more naked. In a similar vein, I also suspect the Clive Davis wears the exact same tie every year to Final Three week. The only difference this year is that he's not sitting with the judges, like he usually does. Anyway, let's get on with it, shall we?

Let's start with Elliott, who was first. The song Clive Davis chose for him is Journey's "Open Arms", which I love. Now, I am ashamed to admit that the first time I ever heard this song, it was the Mariah Carey version, but I definitely prefer the Journey version. I can tell you right now that Randy is going to be all over this, because he was in Journey. I wonder if he played on the recording of this song? I'll have to Google it. Anyway! The vocal is very stong, but I did hear one or two rank notes. Then again, it could just be Elliott "embellishing" the notes like he and Kat are prone to do. Simon told him that he needed to loosen up. I agree. I mean, you're in the Final, and it's all about fan bases at this point anyway, so why not just go out there and have a great time? This is why Taylor is going to win, dude!

The evil Katharine McPhee is doing her best to make me like her because she's done her hair so prettily and she's wearing a gorgeous green halter dress. Stop that, Katharine--you stole Chris from us. Clive chose "I Believe I Can Fly" by R Kelly, which was Trey's 5th grade graduation song. Why did he choose this song? I think that Katharine has more than proved that she is NOT Whitney, or Christina, and that songs like this are way too big for her. Maybe it's all a ploy to get her voted off. If it is, it's certainly working, because her notes are off when she tries to belt the song. Her face during the judging is priceless--like she can't believe that someone would DARE critique her harshly. GO AWAY KATHARINE!

Our saving grace is Taylor, who looks so bored during these cheesy scripted segments with Clive. I do have to say that "Dancing In The Dark" by Bruce Springsteen is the absolute perfect song for him. When he starts to sing, he makes it clear that he will be The Winner. Hands-down Winner. Hahahahaha!!! I've always said that it should be Taylor and Chris in the Final Two, and since Evil Katharine had Chris booted last week (I'm not at all bitter), I'm all about Taylor winning this thing. What really excites me is that Taylor singing third also means that he will be our last performance, and you'd better believe it's going to be awesome.

Now we're up to the Judges' Choice Songs. Paula chose "What You Won't Do For Love" by Bobby Caldwell. Man, I haven't heard this song since my Winn-Dixie days, and the Muzak provider had this song on heavy rotation. I didn't like it then, and I don't like it now. This does not bode well for Elliott, who is really failing to connect with the audience.

Simon chose "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" for Katharine. Now, as it so happens, this is *my* Cathryn's favorite song. And, as it so happens, *that* Katharine knocked it out of the ballpark. This, ladies and gentlemen, is her Moment. Absolutely flawless. See, Kat? The judges have been telling you all season that you need to sing the sweet, quiet stuff that shows off your range, not the loud belty stuff that mades you screech. *sigh* She's so going to the Final Two at the Kodak Theater.

Randy chose "You Are So Beautiful" by Joe Cocker. Man, oh, man! I've been waiting all season to hear this song! Katharine who? Hahahahaha! So now we've had Crazy, Dancing Taylor and and we're seeing Tender, Meaningful Taylor. I like them both. He's so winning this thing. Absolutely beautiful, perfect, and all-around awesome.

The contestant's choice songs are always interesting because you never know what these people are thinking. I read that Chris wanted to sing "Dream", my favorite Aerosmith song. Excuse me, I'm going to go sob quietly ina corner.

Ok, I'm back, and Elliott told us that he chose "To My Soul" or something like that by Ray Charles. He redeems his previous performances with this one, because it's all bluesy and funky. Good choice, E; I just hope it's enough to knock Katharine out of the final two. He's made a little moment for himself there, finally having fun and getting rid of his nerves.

The Queen of Sartorial Disasters is back, and singing Ella Fitzgerald's "Ain't Got Nothing But The Blues" and apparently didn't have enough money for a third outfit, so she pulled her Victoria Secret Summer 1996 T-Shirt dress out of the closet and tossed on a pair of go-go boots. Dude! Did y'all see her just totally flash the back when she bunked over like that? Hahaha--and we thought that Melissa McGhee was the stripper of this bunch. And why is she still giving lip to the judges? Kevin Covais will tell you that no good will come from that.

Finally, we have Taylor singing "Try A Little Tenderness" by the great Otis Redding. And what can I say that we haven't already said about Taylor? He's awesome, and has awesomely combined both of his performance personalities into this one song, and completely closes the deal for anyone who was on the fence. When he sang, he was totally saying, "Dudes, just forget about those other two. I'm the entertainer here. So just pick up your little phone and dial 1-866-436-5703 like 50 million times because you know I'm the best. Thanks. Soul Patrol! Woo!"

So who's going home? You're guess is as good as mine, but we all know that Taylor is going to win.

But still, with Chris gone, I really just DON'T CARE.

Toodles!