Phoenix Auditions

First of all, I don't want to get anyone's hopes up. Just because I'm writing about last night's American Idol doesn't mean that I'm going to do my in-depth critiques as I've done for seasons past.

I do want to say that I really enjoyed the opening--the montage of great moments from the past seven seasons. It was very nostalgic and almost made me feel like this was going to be the last season. That's only my feeling, I haven't read anything, SO DON'T GO AROUND SAYING THAT JOSIE SAID THIS WAS GOING TO BE THE LAST SEASON, K? OK.

Every season, the producers tell us that they're going to feature less foolishness, less bad singers, and really hype those chosen to go to Hollywood. And every season, they lie to us, and we're smacked with terrible singing and ridiculousness. I realize that yes, first and foremost, American Idol is a reality show, and you can't have a reality show without showing some folks getting their dreams crushed. I just wish they'd let us hear more people who got the Golden Ticket to Hollywood, instead of watching people I've never seen before dance around and jump into pools like idiots.

I don't know how any of y'all feel about last night, but I didn't really see anyone Horrible with a capital H, with the exception of that one guy who had to sit on the floor and eat a banana after he sang a Carrie Underwood song in what could only be described as the Tolkein language of Elvish. I saw some weird stuff last night, but nothing like we've seen in the previous seasons. Now that I've said that, tonight's episode in Kansas City will be chock-full of hideousness, and will throw me into a fit of eye-rolling and angry huffing like no one has ever seen before.

So who was good last night? I really liked Stevie Wright. She had a gorgeous voice, and seemed to be a genuinely likable person. I also liked Scott McIntyre, but kept wishing the entire time that someone would have thought enough of the poor blind dude to brush his hair. Just because he can't see doesn't mean that those around him can't either.

Finally, I want to weigh in on Bikini Girl, whose name I did not bother to learn, mostly because she was snotty to the judges, and I don't think she'll make it past the Hollywood rounds. ANYWAY, I could say a lot about her, like how she represents what's wrong with the entertainment business today, with her marginal talent but good looks, but I'm not. What I am going to say is that next season, I want a marginally talented, in-shape, handsome guy to show up at next year's auditions in a Speedo. Isn't that what Bikini girl did? If it works for her, it should work for a dude, right? I'm probably wrong, because I still don't think they'd let a Speedo guy go through to the next round. And if they didn't? Hoo, boy! I smell lawsuit!

Tomorrow, Kansas City, and I'm not making any promises.

Toodles!