Something fun I found--originally titled "If Nerds Ruled The World". I changed it to suit my needs. I'll mark the ones I didn't have to change with an asterisk. I think you'll be as surprised as I at what didn't change!
+ The pen literally becomes mightier than the sword. Fencers everywhere are armed with Bics.* (Josie's note: Bics? Give me a break. It's Mont Blanc or nothing, baby.)
+ Broadway is given it's own cable channel.
+ The following dates are deemed federal holidays: the premieres of Heroes, Ugly Betty, and American Idol, as well as Project Runway and Top Chef. All offices are closed due to viewing party preparations. March 15 is also a federal holiday--the anniversary of the premiere of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
+ Stats for an ideal woman change from 36-24-36 to 780 verbal/780 math.*
+ The images of Indiana Jones, Batman, and Elle Woods become standard issue postage stamps.
+ Golf clubs, footballs, bats and other sports accoutrements are replaced with a universal Wii-mote. Also, deleting opponents becomes completely legal.*
+ Scrabulous would NEVER be blocked by work security filters.*
+ The music of Shania Twain and Lee Ann Rimes are banned.
+ Comic books would be acceptable as a standard form of currency. "Archie" comics, however, soon become like the penny and are used only to buy gumballs and accessorize loafers.*
+ No one ever laughs if you come to work hung over from last night’s Book Group.*
+ Employers give workers an hour a day (plus lunch!) to blog or frolic on the internet.
+ Bill Paxton and Bill Pullman are grafted together to create one incredibly awesome mediocre human being.* (Josie's note: You mean they aren't the same person already?)
+ “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader” becomes “Are You Smarter Than a Tenth Grader Taking AP Classes?”*
+ Cars come with a “Damage on/off” toggle. Driving becomes a lot more fun.*
+ The following are considered felonies punishable by imprisonment to be rehabilitated: wearing sweatpants with writing on the derrière; wearing sweatpants outside of the home; skirts 5 inches or more above the knee in women over 35; socks with sandals; pantyhose with open-toed shoes; pantyhose darker than your shoes; sagging pants.
+ Advertising and coverage for the Scripps National Spelling Bee is as prolific as the Super Bowl.
+ "Bad Hair Day" and "Hated Everything In My Closet" become plausible excuses to use sick days.
+ "Make It So" replaces "Git 'Er Done," a phrase never uttered again except in alcohol-fueled lexiconic accidents. Even then, please-- just don't do it.*
14 years ago
1 comment:
Your posts are so amusing.
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