Just Josie

Someone asked me if I was pregnant today. It's happened before, but it's never hit me like it did today. In the past, when someone would say that to me, I would just get angry. Today, it hurt me so badly that I locked myself in the bathroom at work and cried. Three hours later, I just feel kind of numb. Maybe it's because I've been working for a couple of months just to be able to get into the clothes I have in my closet. Maybe it's because I've started this new regimen, and the supplements have got me a little emotional.

Who asks that kind of question anyway? I've been working really hard, not just this week, but for the last couple of months, and his comment made me want to devour an entire pot of mashed potatoes and gravy. At the same time, it made me never want to eat again. I want to punch that guy for being so callous and stupid. I want to shave all this horrible fat off of my stomach.

This is why I hated banking. This is why I miss my cubicle. Being a cubicle-dweller, it's just you and your computer, and the computer never makes fun of you if you're having a bad hair day, or if you've put on some weight. It's why I hate working with the public in general. They're unintelligent, ignorant, unwashed masses who don't think twice about yelling at you, or telling you how to do your job.

But it's not just him making me this angry. I'm angry at myself for dancing around my bedroom Sunday morning in a dress I thought looked pretty when it's obvious that I still have so much more weight to lose.

Way to put that self-image right through the floor. I'm going home to change my clothes.